Friday, February 28, 2014

Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee

"I'd rather take Coffee than compliments just now." ~ Louisa May Alcott, Little Women[1], Part Two: Chapter Thirty-seven

(Do I actually need to explain the juxta-selection of this particular EweToob video?)

I can't believe that I completely forgot to mention Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee (or Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee) in my previous 'blog-entry on Coffee. I was going to go back and edit it and add in a single paragraph on Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee; however, that is okay, as Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee actually deserves an entire 'blog-entry all unto itself. It is truly "the Marilyn Monroe of Coffees" (and, by that, I mean that both of the Kennedy brothers were crazy about this blend). It is incontrovertibly the Best Coffee Ever; plus, it's my absolute favourite, so that makes it the Second Best Coffee Ever… er, I mean, the Double-Best Coffee Ever.

Coffee was introduced into Jamaica in the early 18th Century by British colonialists. Apparently, the conditions (climate, soil, location, etc.) make the Blue Mountains of Jamaica a perfect environment in which to grow superior Coffee. Like Kona Coffee and Colombian Supremo (and most high-quality gourmet Coffees), Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee is a varietal of Coffea arabica (and discerning this piece of information wasn't exactly as easy as it sounds; it took me a bit of time with Intro-Net searches to determine this simple fact, as it is not mentioned on either the web-site of the official the Coffee Industry Board of Jamaica, nor in the Wikipedia page specifically about this Coffee).

The Coffee Industry Board of Jamaica has strict Quality Specifications for Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee

Blue Mountain No. 1 ~ the largest of the bean size;
Blue Mountain No. 2 ~ the next smaller size;
Blue Mountain No. 3 ~ the next smaller size;
Blue Mountain Pea Berry ~ where only peaberries[2] are allowed, Sherman; and
Blue Mountain Triage ~ where they can mix and match all different classification sizes, while maintaining basically the same quality standards of the other sizes.

"This Coffee has an intense aroma, fairly good body, sweet taste and free of all off-flavours." (Hmmm? Sounds like a girl I used to know…)

I distinctly remember the first time I ever had Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee. A few years ago, friends of mine in England, way up North Yorkshire way (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!), had sent me a small bag of Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee that they had purchased at their local fine tea and Coffee purveyor (and, I might also add, a fine food restaurant) Bettys Café Tea Rooms (see last 'blog-entry from December 16th, 2011). When I first saw the small bag (it was a 125g bag, which is about ¼-pound), I thought, "What cheap bastages! Why such a small bag?" However, if we examine the actual cost of this small bag ~ £15.00 per 125g, which currently works out to $90.90 ('merican) per pound ~ we can see why they had "only" sent me a small bag. There is no way I would even spend that kind of money on myself, but if I did, it would be money well spent.

Even without knowing how much the Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee cost (and I didn't actually discover that until several months later while visiting Greg and Cindy), after the first sip, I knew right away that this was a Coffee of Special Import (this is the real CSI, by the way; CBS stole that denomination from me). I am a bit of a Coffee-snob (no, really, I am); however, I doubt that I could tell the difference between an Arabica and Robusta bean. I just knew that after tasting this, it was THE BEST COFFEE THAT I HAD EVER TASTED EVER.[3] As stated above, Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee is already naturally sweet (with a mild flavour and lack of bitterness), so please do not befoul this transcendent beverage with any added sugar (natural or chemical) products. 

And I bet most people thought that the biggest money-making crop to come out of Jamaica was da ganja, mon.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Bettys Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee ~ 8.5 

1. Despite what many people may think, this book is not the autobiography of Woody Allen.

2. Peaberry is a type of Coffee bean. Where normally Coffee cherries (the fruit) contain two seeds (or beans), sometimes only one of the two seeds is fertilized and a single seed develops. The resulting bean is oval ~ or pea-shaped. Peaberries account for about 5% of all Coffee beans harvested.

3. Please don't point out to me that I used two "Evers" (and no "Tinkers" or "Chances") in that sentence, or you may have to wait an eternity for me to point out to you that "hyperbole" isn't really an outer-space skittles game.


  1. That was so refreshing. I could taste it and smell it as I read each word. Best Ever is right.

  2. Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee, I haven't heard of that coffee before. This article has given me deep insight about coffee which I never knew earlier. I also want to add a coffee name here. It is called, Kopi Luwak. This coffee is known for its expensiveness and exotic taste.

    1. Finn, thanks.

      I am aware of Kopi Luwak Coffee; however, knowing how it is produced, I doubt I will ever really try any. Besides, it is way too expensive for my tastes or budget. I will just stick with Jamaica Blue Mountain as my source of overly-priced Coffee.