Saltroot Café

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." ~ Sammy-boy Clemens

http://www.saltroot.com/

(They still have to update their current web-site to reference their actual brick-and-mortar shop, but at least it is already started.)


Place: Saltroot Café
Location: 2960 Clement Street (on the corner of 31st Avenue)
Hours: Now Open 8:30am Every Day
Meal: two Cheese Popups (one of which was um brinde with the cuppa Coffee ~ I like this idea muito); one Mushroom-Gorgonzola empanada; one Spinach-Feta empanada; and a cuppa ★ Intelligentsia Rayos del Sol Peru

https://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/rayos-del-sol-peru


Well, I must say (or type, or keyboard), this has been one great (three-day) weekend for new breakfastary finds! Just two blocks away from my apartment (luckily, for me, because the deluge is still on-going here in Northern California) there is a brand-new (as in brand-newly opened just one week ago on Saturday) café/bakery place named Saltroot Café. I happened to walk by it last weekend in the afternoon when they were open, but I was not hungry at the time, so I made a mental note (♪) (which always seems to be more of a "retarded rumination" in my case) to check them out in the future to see what I might be able to piece together for some kinda breakfast meal. Well, the future is today (just don't tell that to Buck Rogers) and there were more than enough interesting ideas for me to make a decent breakfast out of ("... out of which for me to make a decent breakfast" is probably grammatically correct, but grammar has nuthin' to do with eating good).

Saltroot Café is located in a space that has seen many incarnations over the past thirty years that I have lived in the neighborhood. This is not the busiest part of Clement Street (that would be about twenty-plus blocks to the East of there), so it is usually hard to maintain a good business in that location. There are only a few tables inside at which to sit and eat (I think I counted just two tables for two, one larger table for four, and three or four seats at a counter-table area), but I can see this being a "take-to-go-with" kinda place for locals. After eating there this morning, I really hope this place has a Vulcan salute-like existence in the Outer Richmond. 

The first question that I had for the owner guy-person (who was just opening up for the day when I arrived) was what the name of the restaurant meant. He explained it to me that "Saltroot" simply refers to the "root" of the cassava/manioc/yuca plant, because their Cheese Popups are not made with any wheat flour, but from cassava starch. The owner guy-person also told me that they were originally going to call the place "Cassava Café"; however, there is already a little Japanese bistro (for lack of a better term) in our neighborhood that is called "Cassava" (see 'silly-little 'blog-entry from Saturday, March 29th, 2014). Unless they started serving Sushi Popups at Cassava, I doubt that there would have been any confusion, though.

But "What exactly are 'Cheese Popups' (ou 'pão de queijo'[1], in Portuguese/Brazilian), Brian?", you might ask. (Of course, I doubt that you would be asking this with the inserted parenthetical Portuguese/Brazilian nomenclature and footnoted-number.) Instead of me trying to explain it (and, more than likely, badly), here is some information from the friendly folks at WikipediA:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A3o_de_queijo 

Saltroot Café makes their version of Cheese Popups with Parmesan cheese. And, for any of you that like to pretend that you are still living in the Paleolithic Era, Cheese Popups are 100% gluten-free, and are also sugar-free if you get them in the original form. (However, I am pretty sure that ol' Caveman Joe did not know how to make any Parmesan cheese yet.) I mention "original form", because, while not yet available, they are working on offering a few variations of Cheese Popups: filled with Gorgonzola (Oh, yeah!), filled with guava puree (this is one that I know I will also like), and a few others that the owner guy-person told me, but I have already forgotten. (H*ck. He told me his name just before I left, but I have already forgotten that, too!)

They also have two other empanadas that they are currently offering: Sweet Potato (which is 100% Vegan, not that it mattered to me) and Vegetarian Breakfast (however, they were out of this type this morning, or I might have ordered that one instead of ~ or, more likely, in addition to ~ one of the empanadas that I did get). They do not bake their own empanadas, but get them from a local empanaderia (if that is such a thing) in the Mission. (The owner guy-person also told me the name of the bakery...  but please see the above paragraph's last parenthetical sentence.)

The poor owner guy-person had to put up with my inane conversation the entire time that I was eating there (there had been only one other walk-in customer during the half-hour that I was there, so it was not as if I was really bothering him that much... just a little). We talked about everything from "cassava" (and "manioc" and "yuca" and "tapioca") to "Coffee"[2]. (Hmmm?! Looking at it that way, we really only touched on the letter "C" from the dictionary. Looks like I need to get back twenty-five more times... and bone-up on a plethora of useless information for the letters "Q" and "X".)

One of the items of (enthralling) conversation that came up was that their front-counter cooler (See? "C"? Another "C"-word.)/refrigeration unit was purchased from one of the now-defunct La Boulange's surplus equipment (Thanks a lot, St*rbucks![3]).

The Cheese Popups turned out to be a great (and tasty) find! Not being quite sure what was the preferência tradicional brasileira for eating Cheese Popups, I asked the owner guy-person, and he said that you can eat them plain or with jam. They provide both a strawberry jam and mango jam to use. I went with some mango jam on one and ate the other one sem molestar. I really enjoyed how both went perfectly (a little sweet, a little salty) with the strong Coffee (unsweetened and unsalted, of course). I am looking forward to trying these filled with Gorgonzola and guava paste (well, each separately, but I bet the two flavours would be a great match-up... [see above Marky-Mark Twain quote]).

I liked both of the empanadas, too. Surprisingly, I liked the Mushroom-Gorgonzola better than the Spinach-Feta. This does not mean that Feta is not still my favourite of the cheesy comestibles. ("Everything's betta with Feta!"™, after all.)

I have had Coffee from ★ Intelligentsia before, but I am not sure if I have ever had this particular roast/blend. This was a very hearty and robust (or, more likely, Arabica ~ sorry, that is a little Coffee humour there) roast. Coffee was one of the topics with which I bored... er... discussed with the owner guy-person in depth. He said that he settled on providing 
★ Intelligentsia after trying a few other local roasteries. I think he made a good choice here. The owner guy-person told me that the beans that they use for their Espresso drinks is a Brazilian bean, but I did not get which specific one (I think ★ Intelligentsia 
offers three or four different types of beans of Brazilian-origin for their Espresso beans). Saltroot Café is not selling any of their Coffee in pre-packaged bags (... yet?). This seems like a no-brainer (even to someone like me with no brains), but the owner guy-person told me they are mainly focusing on marketing the Cheese Popups for now.

Not that it was needed any, but Saltroot Café does have bottles of Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce 
(Original Red Sauce) for use as a condimentary supplementation. Not knowing exactly what they might be offering on their menu, I even came prepared with a few hot sauces of my own; however, I did not see fit to use any this morning.

Personal retarded rumination: I really need to get back there again (soon) for an afternoon snack.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: 
Cheese Popups (Pão de Queijo) ~ 7.4 
(this was a tough one to rate, as I only had a small sample from which to decide, but I really liked the flavour and texture ~ it's a yuca thing, man[ioc]!);
Mushroom-Gorgonzola empanada ~ 7.0;
Spinach-Feta empanada ~ 6.9; 
★ Intelligentsia Rayos del Sol Peru ~ 7.3

___________________

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, número um:

"Pão de queijo" simply means "cheese-bread" in Portuguese. As best as I heard it from the owner guy-person, these are pronounced something like "pon de kay-joe". Not really knowing much Portuguese, I assumed (incorrectly) that the "j" was pronounced like an "h" as they do in Spanish. 

Sometimes I can be such a "herk" linguistically.

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, número dois:

"Coffee" in Portuguese is simply "Café".

See? Sometimes this linguistic stuff really ain't cirurgia cerebral ou ciência de foguetes.

3. Long-story-short:

The bastages at St*rbucks saw fit to buy a small, local chain of French bakery/café-restaurants several years ago. Of course, once the bastages at St*rbucks (and just for simplicity purposes, I will refer to them from here on out in this mini-rant as "tb@S"; of course, with the time and words spent explaining that abbreviation, it would probably have been much simpler to just keep typing [keyboarding, whatever] "tb@S"... or you get the idea), had made their money exploiting these local restaurants, they decided to have the recipes disseminated throughout their ubiquitous cr*p-houses (not to be confused with actual coffeehouses; I am ashamed to even use the term "coffeehouses" in the same sentence as tb@S) and have since closed all of the locations now in the Bay Area. 

Yeah, these guys are such a great company!

The good news is that the original owner of La Boulange has since re-purchased some of the locations from tb@S and has renamed them La Boulangerie. From what the owner guy-person of Saltroot Café told me this morning, the original owner got them back for a song, too. Maybe now I can finally check out their restaurants (free of guilt from knowing that tb@S will not be profiting from me), but I will probably still give it some time before going to any of these cafés. (What is the half-life of contamination from tb@S, anyway?)

Baker Street Bistro

"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." ~ Mark Twain

http://www.bakerstreetbistro.com/


Place: Baker Street Bistro 
Location: 2953 Baker Street (at Lombard Street)
Hours: open at 9:00am for "Brunch" on Saturday & Sunday
Meal: Pain Perdu (A brunch favorite!) ~ French Toast, fresh fruit, strawberry coulis & crème fraîche; a side of homefries; and a cuppa Café (and a few refillas)

(There is no real juxtaselection for today's EweToobular choice. I just recently discovered the Felice Brothers and like their music.)


To one with my perspicacious tastes, no summer workout of my Breakfastary Rotation would be complete without going back to Baker Street Bistro (see last 'blog-entry from April 12th, 2014) for their ultimate Pain Perdu. I actually flipped a coin this morning to decide whether to order the Pain Perdu yet still once again (I had it earlier this year, too) or Oeufs Florentine (Spinach, poached eggs, English muffin, Hollandaise sauce): "Heads" it would be Pain Perdu (mais bien sûr) and "Tails" it would be Oeufs Florentine ~ well, "Heads" won fair and square.

It was a bit cool and overcast this morning (Cool and overcast in July? In San Francisco? Who ever heard of such a thing? ~ insert that other standard quote by Samuel Langhorne Clemens here), but I still sat outside on the sidewalk patio café area (and only one other idiot saw fit to also sit outside while I was there).

the Wild Parrots of San Francisco Interlude

On my way over to the restaurant from where I had parked over by the Presidio and also while sitting outside while eating, I saw and heard about ten to twelve of the Wild Parrots. They always sound as if they are laughing while flying overhead. The Parrots are probably laughing at a joke that us stupid humans would never understand: "Q: Why did the human cross the road? A: To contemplate why life always has to be so difficult." Additionally, I saw a lone coyote in the Presidio on my way over to Cow Hollow; it was along the steep downhill part of Arguello Boulevard (not to confuse anyone with Arguello Street in the Richmond, though). I thought this was pretty cool; however, he moved away too quickly for me to pull over and get a shot with my camera, though.

I really don't know what other praises I can say about this awesome meal that I haven't already said many times before ~ Simplement, c'est le meilleur Pain Perdu du monde! (Well, definitely the best French toast in San Francisco and possibly the entire U.S. of America.)

Today's side of fresh fruit: cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, oranges, watermelon, and apples.

The potatoes were a little en retard (I was more than half done with the rest of the meal), so  Chantal said they were "sur la maison".  Free potatoes always taste the best; and these were very good, anyway. (Liberté, Egalité, Pommes de Territé?) 

As I have become accustomed to doing when eating at Baker Street Bistro, I took the mint sprig garnishment and put it into my Coffee (à la mode de Turquie). When it came time for a refilla, the poor Mexican busboy (South of the Border municipal transportation-person? Whatever.) saw the mint leaves in the bottom of the cup and thought that some leaves from the overhanging tree had fallen into my cup. He was very apologetic and offered to get me a clean cup. I explained to him that it was just the mint from my meal. (Okay, so maybe I do it not only for the flavour, but to mess with people, too.) Not everyone is a mint fan, though. Did you ever wonder why they don't make toothpaste or mouthwash in other flavours for adults? I know that Chocolate- or Coffee-flavoured ones would be a big hit with many adults… Ooooh! or Beer-flavored toothpaste and mouthwash!

For condimentary supplementation, Baker Street Bistro only has Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (the standard red). I used some of my own Pickapeppa Sauce (Thanks, Amy!) on half of the potatoes and some Florida Gold Premium Habanero Hot Sauce (Thanks, Kerry!) on the other half. I also discovered that a combination of both was very good; the Pickapeppa Sauce tempers the habanero heat a bit.

Shameless Promotion of a Good Cause for an Old Friend

This Public Service Announcement is mainly for anyone that lives in the Medway, Massachusetts area (I really doubt anyone from my local San Francisco neighborhood will attend, but you never know). An old high school friend is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. His daughter has scheduled "a concert event to raise money for Alzheimer's Disease research" to be held on Saturday, August 23rd, 2014. If anyone would like to attend, or just read more about it, here are three links for the charity event:

http://www.musicformemoriesmedway.com/

https://www.facebook.com/musicformemoriesmedway

https://www.facebook.com/events/1489205171316146/?ref=2&ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Pain Perdu ~ 8.2; the Wild Parrots of San Francisco ~ 8.5

Curbside Café

"Half the Army reads comic books, the other half looks at the pictures." 
~ James Joseph Croce

http://sfcurbside.com/


Place: Curbside Café   
Location: 2417 California Street (between Fillmore and Steiner Streets)
Hours: Monday through Friday open at 9:00am; Weekends open at 8:00am
Meal: Chilaquiles ~ Sauted [sic] corn tortillas, Ancho[1] chile sauce, Jack cheese, topped with two eggs any style, fresh salsa & black beans (and cottage potatoes); and a (very large) glass of Pomegranate-Limeade

(Of course, today's EweToobular juxtaselection is because today happens to be the birthday of one Timothy James Curry. Happy Birthday, Dr. Frank N. Furter![2])


I am actually running out of new places to try for breakfast in San Francisco, so I am finding that I have to go back and eat at restaurants that I have already eaten at. Don't you just hate when that happens? Anyway, today's breakfastary rerun was at Curbside Café (see previous 'blog-entry from May 15th, 2010).

Curbside Café is a rather smallish place. Their offered seating is just: three small, round sidewalk (ou "curbside", s'il vous plaît) tables for two people; two tables for four people (both located in front with "curbside" views); two tables for six people (which could be reconfigured for tables for four and two people, or three tables of two people); and five tables for two people (these couldn't be reconfigured into ten tables for one, though). It was mostly full this morning, and I had arrived there just after they had opened, too.

stupid parklet mini-rant of the day

Oh, my Dawg!!! There is another of these public parking impediments right across the street from Curbside Café (and I really don't care what establishment it is in front of/being sponsored by, as they won't see any of my business, anyway). This particular one is a large two-space obstacle, constructed of cement/concrete. Yeah, I can see how that can be easily moved if ever need be (see, the stupid Rules of Engagement set forth by the jeenyuses at Pavement to Parks[3] states that these nuisances are supposed to be easily moved). "But… but… but, Brian, the city needs more greenery and parks…" Fine! Alta Plaza Park (a very nice two block-by-two block San Francisco city park) happens to be only two blocks away. Reimagine that!

(Yes, "Stoop" is more than an appropriate name for this wastelet. You'd have to be a complete moron[4] to think that this public obstruction is a substitute for a real city park in any way.)

While this version of chilaquiles was not nearly as good as those found at either Chava's or SanJalisco, it really wasn't that bad a version, either. I know what you are thinking, "A French bistro serving Mexican 'Brunch' items?", but they also offer a few other "South of the Border" items on their "Brunch" menu. Normally with chilaquiles the eggs are just scrambled in with the mess, but they give you the option of how you would like your eggs here; I simply went with eggs over-medium for a change. This dish came with a side of nice pico de gallo and the Ancho chilli sauce was very tasty, too. The cottage potatoes were not listed on the menu as coming with the meal, but breakfast potatoes are always a welcomed addition.

The only condimentary supplementation that I saw readily available on the tables was Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (and just the standard red). I just used a little of my own Big Papi En Fuego Hot Sauce Off The Wall Triple Hot (Thanks, Kerry!) on top of the eggs and to mix in with the chilaquiles, and the last of my Youk's Hot Sauce (Thanks, Brian!) on the potatoes; I figured the Boston Red Sox could use all the mojo-ness that I could help with.

I skipped any Coffee with breakfast, but I made myself a cuppa Peet's® Limited Edition Alta de Dota to enjoy while typing up this 'blog-entry. This is truly a sublimely thaumaturgic cuppa Coffee. It is easily one of the Best New Coffees that I have tasted in 2014, and one of the best new ones that I have had in a long time ~ shades of my "discovery" of Jamaica Blue Mountain several years ago. And I really only picked up a half-pound of it last week so that I could get a free cuppa with the purchase for my birthday weekend breakfast. Sure, it's not Jamaica Blue Mountain, but, then again, Nicole Kidman ain't[5] Marilyn Monroe, either. I am not really any kind of Coffee Constance Sewer (however, I am a Major Coffee Snob ~ I used to be just plain ol' Captain Coffee Upstart before my promotion), but I know what I like, and I liked this one very much.

http://www.peets.com/coffee/featured-coffee/coffee-shop-by-category-limited-editions/alta-de-dota.html


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Chilaquiles ~ 6.3; Peet's® Alta de Dota ~ 7.8-7.9 (and trending upward)


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day:

"Ancho" means "wide" in Spanish. Ancho chillies are made from dried Poblano chilles; when they are dried out, they are flattened or "widened".

2. Seriously, folks, double check your facts and don't believe everything ~ or most anything ~ that you read on the Intro-Net and especially in my 'blog-entries.

3. They go by the cutesy acronym of "P2P". Well, I may just have to take them up on that and start urinating all over these stupid abominations.

4. I am more than convinced these are actually designed by half-morons of the worst degree.

5. For the record, the Nazi Spell-checkers at Microsoft do not recognize this nonstandard contraction (which is fully accepted in many 'merican writings now-a-days; just ask that new novelist Samuel Langhorne Clemens).

Hollywood Café

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
~ Mark Twain

http://www.hollywoodcafesf.com/

(Sometimes these EweToob video links have absolutely nothing to do with the places at which I eat.)


It had been a while since I last went to Hollywood Café (see previous 'blog-entry from April 17th, 2011), so I ventured over to "no (local) man's land" for breakfast. They have their name avec accent aigu on their menu and web-site, but not on their signage for some reason.  They open at 7:00am every day and are mostly a tourista destination as it's one of the only viable places for breakfast on Fisherman's Wharf (which isn't part of one of the surrounding hotels/motels or Denny's). They have several sidewalk tables (5-6 that seat four each), but it was still pretty foggy this morning, so I opted to sit inside. However, inside the restaurant there is a strange triangular configuration which makes for a bit of a cramped atmosphere for anyone sitting near the corner or on the aisle (like I was this morning; I kept getting bumped by the servers and customers).

An "Only in San Francisco" interlude
As I had parked a few blocks away on Bay Street (where the parking is free all day long on Sundays, unlike right on North Point where there are parking meters that operate every day from 7:00am to Midnight to cheat the stupid touristas), on my way back to my car I passed a building that I had never noticed before. This condo complex actually has their own private funicular[1] to use. They could probably make some money by charging touristas to ride on it. (Hey, if it works at Buda Castle, it could work here. Besides, one-third of "funicular" is "fun".)

 

Hollywood Café has a pretty decent breakfastary menu and they have a few specials that are named for old Hollywoodland stars like James Dean, Clark Gable, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Vivian Leigh. This morning I had the Greek Omelette ~ spinach, tomato, olive, and Feta cheese; served with seasoned hashbrowns and toast. I also had a glass of orange juice with the meal.

The omelette had lots of fresh sautéed spinach and Feta cheese in it; however, the olives were just the plain ol', flavourless black ones from a can. The hashbrowns were excellent ~ prepared extra thin for maximum crispiness on both sides. The toast was sliced sourdough, which I thought was very cool; the tourista lady sitting next to me wasn't as impressed, apparently: "I guess that's their version of toast." This was served as five (ha!) slices, too, which I thought was rather odd (if it were four slices, I would have thought it rather "even", of course). For some reason, there was also five slices of orange as a garnish; maybe the owners are Thai (haha!). It really didn't matter, though, as I still ate all of them, along with the quintet of toast slices. The portions are HUGE here; I think it says the omelettes are made with three eggs, but I bet there were easily four or five (hahaha!) eggs used.

Hollywood Café has as condimentary supplements Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (both the standard red and the green jalapeño) and Cholula® Hot Sauce, which is not that bad of a selection. I used some of my own Mama Africa's Zulu Sauces Chilli Mint (Thanks, Kerry!) on the hashbrowns and some Serious Food… Silly Prices Sweet Heat Hot Sauce (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!) on the omelette. Plus, they have Morton® salt and pepper grinders on every table; I made sure to use the pepper grinder to maximum effect.

Stupid drivers rant interlude
Why do some people think that "No Left Turn" signs don't apply to them? I actually saw two idiots ignore these signs this morning alone, and one was to cross three lanes on a busy Geary Boulevard. Now, I don't wish harm on any living thing, but just once I would like to see them die horribly in a fiery ball of tangled metal, but painlessly, of course. That would teach the bastages; I bet they would never try that again!

Note: No frogs (or touristas or stupid egocentric drivers) were actually harmed during the writing of this 'blog-entry.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Greek Omelette ~ 6.5


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day:

"Funicular" comes from Latin "funiculus", which is a diminutive of "funis" meaning "cord, rope".

Baker Street Bistro

"Music to my mouth…"

http://www.bakerstreetbistro.com/

(Okay, the first EweToob link is just because the San Francisco 49ers are participating in that famous French Football classic, Le Bol Souper, this afternoon.

The second video is just because I recently ~ as in yesterday [Thanks, Larry! And now you owe me four to five hours of my Saturday night back after listening to just about everything she had on EweToob.] ~ discovered this singer and really like her stuff [her singing ain't so bad, neither]; of which you can be sure that you haven't heard the last from her on this stupid 'blog. This song is a cover of another little, local Massachusetts-based Rock-and/or-Roll band called the Gay Jiles Group, or something like that.)


In keeping with my Breakfastary Rotation workout, encore une fois pour mon petit déjeuner, je suis retourné à Baker Street Bistro (see last 'blog-entry from November 24th, 2012; which was my 300th 'blog-entry, by the way).

I sat outside again this morning, for as they say on their web-site: "Join us for brunch Saturdays & Sundays from 9:30am to 2:30pm. Dine al fresco on our heated outdoor patio and enjoy the many beautiful days we have here in San Francisco!" Two things to note: 1) they actually open at 9:00am on the weekends for "Brunch", and 2) there was no need to have the artificial, gas heaters on for this beautiful San Francisco Winter morn. (I wonder if Mark Twain ever spent a winter in San Francisco and what he would have to say about it.) They probably need to update their web-site on the "Brunch" menu page, but they have the correct times of operation on the home page. I forgot to ask "Comment dites-vous 'al fresco' en français?"[1]. It was just warm enough (only a little "fresco"-y, I guess) and the Sun was just coming up over the treetops and rooftops as I was sitting down. I even had to keep my sunglasses on the entire time I was eating. It warmed up enough that I almost felt the need to take off my coat (almost); however, no one else was foolish enough to join me outside.

The Wild Parrots of San Francisco Interlude
When I first sat down to eat, I heard many of my fine-feathered friends nearby, but didn't see any flying overhead. There may be several of them living in the backyard trees in the surrounding neighborhood. After breakfast I walked the one block over to the small grove of Eucalyptus tress in the dog park over by the Presidio Lombard Gate and saw at least ten to twenty of the noisy little bastards flying around and having fun.

Now as this was my first breakfast at Baker Street Bistro this year, I felt it most necessary to order Pain Perdu[2] ~ Two slices of cinnamon French Toast, fresh fruit, strawberry coulis & crème fraîche. I also ordered a side of homefries and a cuppa coffee. Actually, having had this most exquisite version of French Toast the past few times that I had eaten there, I might probably have ordered Oeufs Baker Street instead; however, I had just had another version of Eggs Benedict yesterday. Besides, have I ever told you how good this French Toast truly is?

As can be seen in the above photo, when the nice server-lady brought me my meal, she said "This is music to your mouth…". It took me a few seconds to figure out just what the heck she was talking about, I assumed it was some kinda Frenchy expression that didn't translate very well. I made the cuppa coffee with my traditional sprig of mint added from the Pain Perdu garnish in it (it really freaks them out when they go to pour seconds[3]). Les fruits assortis de la journée: pineapple, cantaloupe, blackberries, watermelon, oranges, and apples.

I simply used a little of my own Palo Alto Firefighters Pepper Sauce ~ XX Habanero (Thanks agains, Amys and Brian!) on the potatoes for condimentary supplementation. Even I would not be stupid (or sacrilegious) enough to try some on the Pain Perdu.

As always, the Pain Perdu was truly a euphonious epicurean experience… and Sarah Borges is pretty tasty on the ears, too.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Pain Perdu ~ 8.2 (mais bien sûr); the Wild Parrots of San Francisco ~ 8.5


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer del giorno/du jour, numero uno/numéro un:

"Al fresco" simply means in Italian "in the cool/in a cool place", and in French it would probably be "en plain air" or "à l’extérieur".

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer du jour, numéro deux:

As I have stated in the past, and this is just a refresher course to see who has been paying attention (or who hasn't), "Pain Perdu" means "Lost Bread" in French.

A few years ago Baker Street Bistro used to call this plain ol' "French Toast" on their menu. I was eating there one time and the owner was having his breakfast at the next table over. I jokingly asked him if they just called this meal "Toast" in France. He explained to me the whole "Pain Perdu" story. The next time I ate there several months later, they had it as "Pain Perdu" on the menu. I am not saying that I had anything to do with them changing the menu, but they may finally have gotten tired of the same ol' tired joke and figured this was a way to shut up (the other) idiots.

3.  Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer del día, número tres:

While he was refilling my cup of coffee for the third time, I asked the Mexican server-guy how to say "Just a half cup" in Spanish; I think he said it was "la mitad", which just means "half" or "middle". Not that I will ever remember that phrase the next time I only want a "half-cup", but it is good to note for those of you that have any kind of retention.

I wonder if that would make me an "optimista" or "pesimista" cunning linguist?!

Dottie’s True blue café

I am pretty sure that "Dottie's" is Thai for "Number One, Joe, me love you long time".

http://dotties.biz/

I actually had to break out my waterproof jacket to make the trek over to Dottie's True blue café (see last 'blog-entry from June 13th, 2012) as the air was pretty saturated with the thick summer fog (Samuel Langhorne Clemens would not lie to you). I got over there fifteen minutes before they opened this morning, and I was actually the first in line for a change. (Sleep is way overrated, Warren.) I even got the primo parking spot right out in front (well, the second primo-est spot right behind Kurt's little red Mercedes). While waiting in line and before ordering, I made sure to bore a few of the out of town patrons: a guy from New York City (the one in New York State, of course), another guy from Los Ångeles (California), and even a lady from Dorchester (Massachusetts).

Today's kitschy salt and pepper shaker set on my area of the counter was a zeppelin (which housed the pepper) and cloud (for the salt). I wonder if the paint contained any lead in it, Mr. Plant.

I had already made up my mind for breakfast before heading over there. If they had their awesome Zucchini Cakes (it's been a few visits since I last ordered it) on the weekend specials board, I was going to get that; if not, I was planning on just ordering one of their fresh baked goods and maybe an egg over medium with a side of home fries. As luck would have it, I did end up ordering the Zucchini Cakes topped with poached eggs & spicy marinara sauce; fruit & potatoes. I also had a cuppa coffee.

(Please ignore the quality of the meal photo. The photographer has already been severely dealt with for this poor quality photo.)

The Zucchini Cakes were excellent as always. I didn't expect any less, and this was my main point in ordering them. I really don't know what else to say about this great rendition of Uova Benedicto. It is truly an excellent invention.

Today's cup of fruit included: (lots of) blueberries, (a few) strawberries, and (more than likely, less than one) cantaloupe.

One of these days I really ought to find out what brand/roast of coffee they serve. It's not that bad and it is a bottomless cup (it's okay, I was wearing brown shoes and no one could tell).

As stated many times before in the past (Can anything be stated "many times before in the future"?), Dottie's True blue café has a very decent selection of condimentary supplements (and I don't even bother schlepping any from my own collection any more). I used a little Tabasco® Chipotle on the potatoes only; their spicy marinara sauce was tasty enough without me messing with it.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating:  Zucchini Cakes ~ 7.6

Dottie’s True blue café

Still the Marilyn Monroe of breakfast joints, no kidding.[1]



http://dotties.biz/


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr_TXfQ4YEA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IdEhvuNxV8



As today is one of the Highest Holy Days for Fools and Idiots like me, I had to celebrate it with a breakfastary mass at Dottie's True blue café (see last 'blog-entry from January 22nd, 2012). Even the Parking Gods were on my side this morning, as I found a great parking spot today almost in front of the restaurant; well, except for some idiot in a red Mercedes convertible that got the best parking space directly in front of the entrance. I was gonna key his car and complain to Kurt about it, but I figured what is the point, as the fargin' bastage probably has a good insurance policy, anyway. Funny, there always used to be a similar car parked out in front of Dottie's old location, too…

Even with the much larger space of their new location (which has more than doubled the seating of the old place), there is still a bit of a wait if you don't get there just when they open; but at least now many people can wait inside during inclement weather, Mr. Twain, and, with the additional tables, the turnover is usually much quicker. I got there just before they had opened this morning and was seated with the first wave of Fools and Idiots (I think I was either Fool #7 or Idiot #8 in line).

My set of kitschy Salt & Pepper shakers this morning was some kinda barbershop pole-themed ones for the colour vision deficient:




As usual, I forewent (which is always a foregone conclusion, dog gone it) the standard menu and ordered off the Specials Board:




There were several good choices from which to choose (I always hate those kinds of choices that I can't choose), but I saw the one choice that I really wanted (which they happened to be all sold-out of the last time I was there): Zucchini[2] Cakes ~ topped with Poached Eggs & Spicy Marinara Sauce, fruit & potatoes (well, it wasn't topped with fruit and potatoes, they were both on the side and separate; that is just how they have it on their menu). I also ordered a glass of grapefruit juice and a cuppa coffee.




I could rave on and on and on, Mr. Charles Hardin Holley, about how much I love this Italiano take on the standard Eggs Benedict, but that might take many years and cost many lives. Let's just say that Kurt has a real winner with this genius idea. Today's side of "prats"[3]: blackberries (which are really a deep purple and not black); blueberries (which are really more of a purple than true blue); strawberries (which are more of a red, than straw-coloured) and cantaloupe (which is cantaloupe-colored, of course). (Who names this stuff? A dog? The guy that designs Salt & Pepper shakers?)

I was fully aware that Dottie's already had a great selection of condimentary supplements (see photo above of their "hot stuff hutch"): several types of Tabasco® as well as many other brands. However, I felt liking using some of my own collection and used some Palo Alto Fire Fighters Pepper Sauce (Thanks onces agains, Amys!) on the potatoes, and just a skosh[4] of One Stop Hot Shop (Fine Fiery Fayre) 'Smart Arse'® Extreme Chili Sauce (Thanks a lot, Cindy?!? Greg, you have been cleared of all future lawsuits, as Cindy has confessed that these attempts on my life were all her idea.) on one of the poached eggs/Zucchini Cakes. The spicy Marinara sauce was pretty tasty on its own, and provided a little heat, but I wanted to try out another of my new hot sauces that were a "gift" at Christmas ("gift" as in "Arsenic and Old Lace" kinda "gift", perhaps?). 

http://theonestophotshop.co.uk/SMART-ARSE-SAUCE-extreme-chilli-sauce

Now, 'Smart Arse'® Extreme Chili Sauce is exactly that; this stuff will not only clear your sinuses, but simultaneously make your nose run… a Marathon! It's not as if they don't warn you about how hot this stuff really is. Right on the label there are these warnings:

"Only for the INSANE!!"

"USE WITH CARE - CAN CAUSE BREATHING DIFFICULTIES."

"Keep away from children and animals."

First off, if you are truly insane, Captain Yossarian, how would you know to read the stupid warning on the label?! Secondly, what?! Breathing Difficulties?! Seriously?! This is a selling point?! And thirdly, there are no children or animals that would be foolish enough to ever try this stuff!

Ingredients: Red Peppers (80%), spirit vinegar, water, bhut jolokia chillies (6%), capsicum oloeresin (6.4m Scoville Units), tapioca starch, salt. Refrigerate once open and use within 4 weeks. (Yeah, right! No way I am using this up within four years, let alone four weeks.)

I hear that the UC Davis Campus Police have bought 24 cases of the toxic stuff for the next "Occupy" protest…

At least I was smart enough to test the teeniest of amounts on a toothpick yesterday before foolishly pouring any amount on my food. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I would really have to be a member of the Cap'n J*ter Fan Club… "Go Y*nkees!"

'Smart Arse'®, my ass! This stuff is just downright stoopid-ass®, fools!


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Zucchini Cakes ~ 7.6; 'Smart Arse'® Extreme Chili Sauce ~ fuggedaboudit!


[1] I was going to do a whole "April Fool's Day" joke 'blog-entry on how much I hated my meal today, etc., complete with a "Seinfeld" EweToob clip of George's "Opposite Epiphany":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RerJWv5vwxc

But I thought it would be a bit sacrilegious. This would be as bad as making a Jesus Christ joke on Palm Sunday, like:

Q: Why can't Jesus Christ eat Skittles® in Central Florida?
A1: Because he's Jewish and there are no Jews (left alive) in Central Florida.
A2: Because he only wears a hoody on Saturdays.
A3: Because they fall through the holes in his hands.

[2] Stupid, useless cunning linguist and pseudo-culinary/agricultural pointer of the day:

"Zucchini" is/are really a fruit. It/they are a summer squash and a hybrid of the cucumber. The Italian word for "squash" is "zucca"; the diminutive is "zucchina", which is "zucchine" in the plural. However, "zucchino", the masculine form, becomes "zucchini", as used in the dialect of Tuscany. If any of that isn't quite clear, you can take a large shot of 'Smart Arse'® to clear your head.

Any Britishlanders reading this, you can look up "courgette" on your own; that's what you get for borrowing a word from the stupid French.

[3] Not really a stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, more of just a stupid, useless accentual pointer of the day:

"Prats" = "fruit" in the Filipino dialect. As in, "Would you like some prats for dessert?"

I was told this explanation by a friend who is a Filipina and am not making fun of the entire race. A lot of Filipinos pronounce their "F's" like a "P". Hence, you can say Filipino or Pilipino. They consider "fruit" a plural and add an "s" to it often. I forget why the "oo" sound in "fruit" is pronounced as an "a" sound, though.

Now you know why there aren't that many Filipinos in the NHL; they can never play with a "puck" politely.

[4] Seriously, when I say "just a skosh" I really meant just a tiny amount. I took a toothpick and spread just the amount that I had collected on only one of the Zucchini Cakes, and, even then, I could still taste it throughout much of the meal.

I have already stupidly and uselessly cunning-linguistically pointed out the etymology of this word once before here, but I wanted to insert it in today's 'blog-entry as "skosh" happens to be the "Word of the Day" on my Page-A-Day® calendar.

Note: At least there were no Korean waiters harmed in the writing of today's 'blog-entry.