Sunday, October 20, 2013

Red’s Java House

This ain't breakfast, this is genocide…

Place: Red's Java House
Location: Pier 30 (on the Embarcadero[1] at Bryant[2] Street)
Hours: Breakfast is served Monday through Friday from 7:00am to 11:00am; Saturday and Sunday 9:00am to close
Meal: Breakfast Quesadilla[3]; and another cuppa America's Best Coffee 

(Okay. I know that just yesterday I said it was never-EVAH to be called "Frisco", but if you are a Soul/Rhythm & Blues Legend, you can call this little town any ol' thing you please. Besides, who says that Mr. Redding wasn't sittin' on the dock of the bay in Colorado, Idaho, or Utah?)

I had breakfast with a view to kill for, James (or a view of the bridge, Arthur) at Red's Java House this morning. This was the first time I have ever had a breakfastary meal there, but I have eaten (and drank) there a few times (see last 'blog-entry from May 2nd, 2010). Pier 30 is right down the road from AT&T Park (formerly Pacific Bell Park), home of your still current World Series Champions, San Francisco Giants. Red's Java House is not to be confused with the completely unrelated Java House (which is located just a few blocks/piers further down the Embarcadero at Pier 40), which also serves breakfast on the weekends. 

(If you look closely, you can actually see the top of AT&T Park above the sign.)

The best part about it being the off-season for the San Francisco Giants and early on a Sunday morning is that parking is readily available (and free until 12:00 Noon); so I parked directly across the street. Even though it was still a bit foggy and chilly, I still had to sit outside on their deck-patio to fully get the whole "sittin' on the dock of the Bay" experience.

Behind the ordering-counter, there is a chalkboard that has a trivia "Question of the Week" on it and if you answer it correctly, you get a free soda or French fries (or something). Today's "Question of the Week" was: What did the thieves set out to steal in the movie "Reservoir Dogs"?[4] I didn't attempt to answer it as I have only seen the movie once in full (and over twenty years ago now). I probably have seen clips of the entire film over the years, though.

Red's Java House does not offer a lot of choices for breakfast (thankfully, they offer no "Brunch" items either), just six total; however, they also serve cornbeef hash on the weekends. This is not a fancy place whatsoever (or whatsoevah); the food is served on paper plates and with plastic utensils. Although, for some reason, the napkins were made from 100% silk and I felt really bad about throwing them in the trash with the rest of my garbage.

This was basically just a flour tortilla with scrambled eggs and cheese (and probably just plain ol' 'merican cheese at that) in it. It was nothing I couldn't make at home myself (if I ever had any eggs… or tortillas; I always have some kinda cheese, and definitely better than 'merican cheese). This would normally come with some kinda dead, decaying animal flesh in it, too; but they gave me a side of homefried potatoes instead (which is a great trade-off if you ask me). And, like yesterday, the coffee was very good, just not the "Best".

Red's Java House offers for condimentary supplements Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (both the original red and green Jalapeño) and Tapatío®. I used some of my own El Yucateco® XXXtra Hot Sauce Salsa Kutbil-ik® de Chile Habanero (Thanks, Brian!) inside the quesadilla along with the red salsa that was provided (which tasted like it was probably just from a jar, but hopefully not from "New York City!") and some Florida Gold Premium Habanero Hot Sauce (Thanks, Kerry!) on the potatoes. 

After breakfast I walked over to AT&T Park to take in more of the great views along the water and the nice Fall weather we are having right now. It was nice to see that there were many dogs out-and-about with their human companions doing the same.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Breakfast Quesadilla ~ 5.5; Atmosphere and million $$$ views of the Bay ~ 8.5

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer del día, número uno:

"Embarcadero" means "the place to embark" and derives its name from the Spanish verb "embarcar" (meaning "to embark" ~ sometimes these things ain't rocket surgery).

2. Bryant Street is named for Edwin Bryant. He was the second alcalde (pre-statehood Mayor) of the city of San Francisco. He was also the cousin of the poet William Cullen Bryant. Also of note, he traveled part of the way to California with the Donner Party. Fortunately, he and a small group rode ahead of the rest of the wagon train and presumably had much better meals along the way.

Would you ever R.S.V.P. an invitation to the Donner Party? And what kind of wine is best to serve with human flesh?

3. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer del día, número dos:

"Quesadilla" comes from Spanish; it is the diminutive of "quesada" (a type of cheesecake) which comes from "queso" ("cheese"). 

4. Answer: Diamonds, dogs.


  1. Mary and I had breakfast down there a few times when our friend lived in SOMA, before the ballpark. Straightforward fare, but the views were worth it.

    1. Так точно!

      Looking back at my caption/heading for this entry, it might seem like I didn't enjoy the meal, which was not the case at all, nor my intention. I blame Mr. David Jones for that misconception, of course.