Chloe♥s Cafe

"You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think." ~ Dorothy Parker

(No official web-site.)


Place: Chloe♥s Cafe
Location: 1399 Church Street (on the corner of 26th Street)
Hours: open at 8:00am every day of the week; phonicular contact: (415) 648-4116
Meal: Fresh Herb Scramble ~ Two scrambled eggs with fresh dill, basil, cilantro, red[1] onion, tomato, and a choice of cheese (Jarlsberg, Cheddar, cream cheese, or Feta) served with a cup of fruit or home fries and toast; and a large glass of orange juice

(I could not think of a better tribute for America's Memorial Day than some random Canadianlander dude singing a song written by a relatively unknown, dead Scouser.)


For the past three Memorial Day breakfasts now I had eaten at Just For You Cafe, but due to their recent involvement in the whole stupid parklets conspiracy, I am currently boycotting them. As the Reverend William Spooner once said while in his sinking dinghy, "You seep what you row!" I like them too much to boycott them forever, but I have decided to at least give them a one-year cooling-off period. So, maybe next year I will go back there again on the last Monday in May. Some might think that I am cutting off my nose to spite my face in doing this, but if you have ever seen my nose… or my face, you know that might really not be such a bad thing.

In bypassing Just For You Cafe this year, I figured I might as well go to one of my old standards instead (and one that used to be in my Breakfastary Rotation for many years). So I went back to Chloe♥s Cafe (see last 'blog-entry from July 28th, 2013) over in Noe Valley. I have stated this many times before, but they are probably one of the tinier places to go for breakfast in San Francisco (Art's Cafe may be the tiniest of all): inside there are just two tables for four and six tables for two; they do have sidewalk seating on nicer days (today happened to be one of those mornings) with four tables for four and two tables for two. I have never seen the place not full and without a crowd waiting to get in.

Chloe♥s has just a small everyday printed menu, but they do offer a few "Weekend Specials" with usually just one breakfastary input (which is what I ordered this morning). There are always a few other good possibilities off their regular menu, too: Avocado & Jarlsberg Scramble or Red Potato, Cheddar, & Onion Scramble.

This was basically the same "Special Scramble" that I had on my last visit, but just with red onions in place of the fungus stuff; however, it is to be expected when I only go there one or two times a year now. I went with the Jarlsberg (mind you, not "Jarlsberger", Mr. Cleese); I would probably have chosen Feta, but I just had that cheesy comestible in yesterday's breakfast (everyone knows that Cheddar is not that popular around these parts, and plain ol' cream cheese is never a viable option when eating out). The Jarlsberg made for a nice melty cheese medium in the mess. There was a lot of fresh basil chiffonade[2] throughout it, too; almost as much as might be seen in a spinach scramble ~ this is always a good thing.

Of course, I went with homefries as my side dish selection. They are always much better than just a stupid fresh fruit cup (even I can make a stupid fruit cup at home… I would just need to buy some fresh fruit first). And it was a right HUGE pile o' potatoes, too.

Once again I made my toasty choice White Rosemary, because it really is the best. toast eatery could really learn a thing or two from this tiny little place, as they offer an excellent variety of fresh-baked breads for toast.

For condimentary supplementation, Chloe♥s has both Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (the standard red) and Tapatío®. I just used some of my own Dave's Gourmet® Ginger Peach Hot Sauce (Thanks, Jim!) on the homefries and some Serious Food… Silly Prices Chunky Habanero (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!) on the scrambled stuff.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Fresh Herb Scramble ~ 6.5


1. What colour-blind horticultural pimp ever came up with this name for an obviously purple or violet hued onion?

2. Yet again, the Nazi Spell-checkers at Microsoft do not recognize this culinarily ubiquitous term. Billy-boy and his brown-shirted goons really need to watch more Food Network and less Playboy Channel.