The Full English Breakfast

Fiamma, Hilton London Metropole, 
London, England (12/18/2010)




A "right propa" full English breakfast* is either something of rare beauty to behold or something very frightening to beware of altogether. Not only does it include a ton of food, but some of the items wouldn't seem to exactly go with breakfast or be the least bit appetizing. However, as a vegetarian, I really don't have to worry about some of the nastier foodstuff. A typical full English breakfast normally includes: eggs (either scrambled or fried), sausage (usually pork of some sort), bacon (the English version is normally the thick-cut back bacon version), black pudding, sautéed button mushrooms, grilled tomatoes (or tomahtoes), hash browns, toast, and baked beans (yes, baked beans!). Even if I weren't a vegetarian, that is an awful (emphasis on "awful") lot of meat products.

Don't let the nomenclature "black pudding" fool you; this is not some kind of tasty dessert that Bill Cosby would be shilling for Jell-O®. "Black pudding" is actually a type of sausage or wurst which is also known as "blood pudding/sausage" (or "blutwurst" in German); and, as this name indicates, it is basically made from boiled, congealed blood (normally pig or cow). It is an acquired taste, I am sure; luckily, it is one that I will never have to acquire.

Then there are the mushrooms, grilled tomahtoes, and baked beans. These are not something that you would normally see as a side dish offered at your normal 'merican breakfast restaurant; but I like mushrooms, tomahtoes, and baked beans, and it all seems to work for me for breakfast. I particularly like the addition of baked beans to this mess; pour some HP Brown Sauce on top of them and it's really quite good.

The picture at the top of this post also includes a vegetarian sausage, as offered with breakfast at Fiamma (the main restaurant at the Hilton London Metropole). That is something that is being included more often now-a-days in a lot of English restaurants.




Another oddity to an English breakfast is the culinary abomination known as Marmite® (also see its nasty cousin, the Australian devil-food Vegemite… and don't even think of ever "just smiling and giving me a Vegemite sandwich", mate). It is basically concentrated yeast extract. It's really rather 'orrible and way too salty for my tastes. I have been told the way to temper its edge is to butter some toast first then spread some Marmite® on top of that ~ I have tried this more than once and I would prefer just skipping the latter step altogether. As much as I like odd foods (peanut butter and pickles, anyone?) and as much as I would really love to love this by-product of Beer-brewing, I really can't recommend this food spread to anyone outside of the East End. 


 
http://www.marmite.co.uk/
 

Just so you don't think I am a complete English breakfast-phobe, there is something that is offered in many places that I think is an excellent breakfast entry: Bubble and squeak**! Bubble and squeak is a traditional English breakfast dish made with the leftover vegetables from the roast dinner the night before; the chief ingredients are potatoes and cabbage, but carrots, peas, brussels sprouts, and other vegetables can be used. It is normally made by mashing the potatoes and adding the other ingredients, and then fried into patties or croquets. The onomatopoeic name "bubble and squeak" comes from the sounds that is made while it is cooking. Anything made with potatoes and brussels sprouts is okay in my book.***

And then people wonder when I say that "British Cuisine" is an oxymoron.****


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Full English Breakfast ~ 6.5; HP Brown Sauce ~ 6.5; Marmite® ~ 5.0 (just barely); Bubble & Squeak ~ 7.5


*(Not to be confused in any way with the Fully English Monty. That would also go in the disgusting bangers/sausage category.)
 
**(Completely useless cunning linguist titbit for the day:
"Bubble and squeak" is also Cockney rhyming slang for "Greek".)
 
***(As stated in the past, "my book" is a just wee little colouring book, but I do try to stay within the lines.)
 
****(An English wit once came back at me with "Yeah, so ain't 'American humour'." ~ Touché, ol' chap!)