Saturday, December 27, 2014

Herbivore ~ the Earthly Grill

With the end of the year coming up, I wanted to do something a little different for a change with this 'blog-entry. It has come to my attention that my entries have become a bit formulaic and predictable: they usually start with an opening quote (generally unrelated and useless) of some kind, then the restaurant and meal info, then a EweToobular juxtaselection or two, into the main post, any condimentary supplementations, and ending with the GBS Rating and any footnotes.

So, just to mix it all up a bit…

1. I am pretty sure that the "gf" in this case stands for "gluten-free" and is not any kind of aspersion on the character of one Douglas Daniels*. 

*(I am pretty sure that I can get away with that swipe as Mr. Daniels probably doesn't bother reading this stupid li'l 'blog-thing of mine, anyway.)

2. I can only assume that the "butter" in question here is some form of soy-based product. 

I had to ask my friendly waitress-server lady person (whose name I did get, but forgot already, Mrs. Huneycutt) what do Vegans call either a "steak knife" or a "butter knife".

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: grilled corn cakes ~ 6.8; carrot, ginger and lime juice ~ 6.5; Toad Sweat Chocolate Orange Dessert Hot Sauce® ~ 6.9

Herbivore offers only Cholula® Hot Sauce for pre-bottled condimentary supplementation. I used some of my brand-new (which I had just received for Christmas) Toad Sweat Chocolate Orange Dessert Hot Sauce (Thanks, Sean!) on one of the corn cakes. It is technically a "dessert" hot sauce, but I had to try it on some kind of meal, and it's not often that I get Ice Cream for breakfast. It has a nice bit o' heat to it, too. I also used some of my own Fat Cat® Strawberry Serrano Hot Sauce (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the potatoes. I made a nice mixture of their guacamole and tomato chipotle salsa to use on the other corn cake.

I am not usually a big carrot (or baby carrot for that matter) juice fan, but I liked this well enough; it had lots of ginger in the juice ~ which gave it a nice bite to the back of the throat. They don't really specify such, but I am pretty sure that the vegetable juice concoction was 100% Certified Vegan (and probably "gf"), too. 

I think this is pretty funny, I don't know if you can see it from the below photo, but the tempeh bacon has created a very Satanic-looking reflection in the glass of carrot juice. Very strange, and probably telling to all of you authentic, dead, decaying pork-belly eaters.

These were really decent corn cakes, with bits of bell peppers and such in them. Both their guacamole and tomato chipotle salsa proved to be tasty additions. The "sour cream" was just some tasteless Vegan soy-based version, which I left mainly untouched; I don't usually even like "real" sour cream with my guacamole and salsa in a burrito or Mexican dishes.

I like this place because there are no dishes on the menu that I can not eat (and there was the minimal of the vile weed in most of their dishes from what I could see). However, I can not really recommend this place for any of you bacoholics, though. There were a couple of other good possible breakfastary ideas: french toast (2 slices of sour dough or wheat with pure organic maple syrup, butter[2] and grilled bananas; I really have to get back there again one of these days to see how they can successfully ~ or not ~ make French toast without any eggs or milk products); basil pesto vegetable tofu scramble (spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes, with house potatoes, toast, fruit spread and butter); or maybe a breakfast burrito (choice of: tofu scramble or tempeh, with black beans, guacamole, tomato chipotle salsa, sour cream, and house potatoes).

I went back to Herbivore ~ the Earthly Grill (see previous 'blog-entry from May 25th, 2013) for breakfast this morning because I wanted to see how the other half dined (by "other half", of course, I just meant 100% Vegan). I gave a quick thought to sitting outside in their cool backyard-patio seating area (where there are seven tables for two people ~ in two levels even), but quickly put the thought out of my mind as it was still a bit too chilly this morning and the Sun had not reached back there yet.

(Today's EweToobular juxtaselection is a two-part joke. The first part should be simple enough by the name of the restaurant and with the name of the group; the second part is because Vegans do not eat honey. Don't ask.)

Place: Herbivore ~ the Earthly Grill
Location: 531 Divisadero Street (between Hayes and Fell Streets)
Hours: open at 9:00am every day of the week
Meal: (gf)[1] grilled corn cakes ~ black beans, tomato chipotle salsa, guacamole, and sour cream, with house potatoes; a side of (gf) tempeh bacon (who is not the Vegan-Asian cousin of Glen, I asked); and a large glass of fresh-squeezed carrot, ginger and lime juice

"To err is human, to forgive, supine!" ~ S.J. Perelman

(Don't worry, I contacted Christopher Nolan's legal and publicist team and they assured me that there would be no plagiarism charges… as long as I don't refer to anyone named "Teddy" in the 'blog-entry. Sorry, Mr. Bear, maybe next week.)

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