"Sometimes the wolves are silent and the Moon howls…" ~ U/I bathroom graffito in some gas station in Santa Cruz, CA, circa 1978 (And sometimes the wolves will howl during a New Moon.)
Place: ¡venga![1]empanadas[2] Location: 443 Valencia Street (between 15th and 16th Streets) Hours: open at 8:00am Monday - Friday; 8:30am Saturday & Sunday Meal: Breakfast Menu: ~ Egg empanada and Coffee; one five pepper manchego[3]cheese (empanada) ~ poblano chile, bell peppers, jalapeños, Spanish Manchego, Mozzarrella [sic]; and one three cheese & walnuts(empanada) ~ Mozzarrella [sic], blue jack, onions, carmelized [sic] walnuts
(Today's EweToobular juxtaselection can easily be discerned with the translation of the restaurant's name; see footnote number 1 below.) I felt like trying something a little different for breakfast (or desayuno) this morning, so I headed over to the Mission and ate at ¡venga! empanadas. As their name implies (and their business slogan is also: "Artisanal Empanadas in the Mission"), this place mainly serves empanadas and Coffee, but they offer more than enough variety for me to make up a decent breakfastary repast. It's a pretty small bakery (empanadería... whatever)/café-ish joint with seating of just ten counter seats, and two tables for two inside; they also have four tables for two outside on the sidewalk. It's mostly a small take-away joint, anyway; I don't think they expect people to hang around there all day drinking Coffee and eating empanadas. Random Rant of the Day While I was sitting there eating my empanadas and there were a few more customers at the counter ordering their breakfasts, some random street dude (hombre, cholo… lo que) stormed up to the counter and demanded the lady behind the counter turn down the house stereo because it was too loud on the street. It really wasn't loud at all inside, but they do have two speakers outside above their awning and it may have been louder outside. "Too loud"? There are no businesses that were even open within two doors either way of this little place on this placido domingo. (It's mostly a warehouse area of town.) Who knew there were Policía de Música en la Misión? Even after the lady turned it down a bit, the crazy dude came back a few minutes later and complained again; at that time, I think she just turned it off entirely. (Okay, maybe that really wasn't a "rant", so much as a "story", but it does bring up another…) stupid parklet min-rant of the day There is another Coffee place on Valencia (between 14th and 15th Streets) that has a three-car space parklet in front of it. I won't even bother naming the place as they don't deserve any free publicity (well, okay, that, and I didn't really bother to note the name of the place). I just know that they are now "on my (ever-growing) list", too. At least one of the parking spaces that has been absconded is being used for a bicycle parking spot. "But, Brian, there really is no need for three extra parking spaces along Valencia Street." I saw two cars illegally parked in the middle of the road (in the "Left or Right" turn lane) when I was walking back to my car. "But, Brian, maybe those idiots… er, people were not buying Coffee at the stupid place that sponsored the stupid parklets." Nope. I saw one of the jerks getting into his car after patronising the damn place.
(Back to the good stuff.) There were several more Meat Empanadas or "Veggie" Empanadas from which to choose and they all sounded pretty good, too: mushroom (mushroom mélange with onions and fresh herbs and Mozzarrella [sic, again]); sweet corn(corn and red bell pepper, Mozzarrella [sic, still]); and california veggie (baby spinach, Napa cabbage, carrots, mushrooms, raisins, almonds, garlic ~ it didn't list any sic-ening Mozzarrella as an ingredient in this one) to name just a few. I am sure that I will need to make a return visit for lunch sometime (empanadas are not necessarily just for breakfast any more).
They offer two different breakfast/egg empanadas even: a vegetarian (sorry, not Vegan, though) one made with scrambled eggs, spinach, and cheese (I think it was Mozzarella, or "Mozzarrella") ~ which is the one that I got ~ or a dead, decaying animal-fleshatarian one made with scrambled eggs, chorizo (or bacon or ham), and cheese (again, probably either Mozzarella or "Mozzarrella"). This was probably the best breakfast empanada that I have ever eaten in my life! (Of course, I think it is probably the very first breakfast empanada I have ever had in my life.) I liked all of the ingredients a bit more in the five pepper manchego cheese empanada. Even with the two different types of chillies (and, for the record, I only counted three different kinds of "peppers" total, not five), it really wasn't that spicy, just tasty. I was still a little peckish (… esurient… a bit 'ungry-like) after the initial two empanadas, so I ordered one more to curb my Walpoling appetite. The three cheese & walnutsempanada was very good, too. (Not seen in the above photo, but it looked basically the same as the other two.) The Coffee was also very good this morning. They serve Rogers FamilyCompany Coffee &Tea Market, a local Northern California roastery. I have had this brand before at other cafés and restaurants. I couldn't locate the specific roast/blend that I had this morning on the official web-site, but it was marked as Mission Blend on the bags of Coffee at the counter; it may very well be a custom blend made specifically for ¡venga!. https://www.gourmet-coffee.com/home.php I didn't notice, nor ask for, any bottles of pre-packaged condimentary supplements, and none were really needed as ¡venga! has two of their own homemade salsas in plastic dispenser bottles. There was a reddish-orange one that was pretty tasty, but more "sweet" than "heat". There was a reddish-brown one that was a bit more picante; I liked this one the best and saw fit to use a lot of it on all three of my empanadas. Neither of the two were overly spicy, but they both had a nice, fresh flavour to them. "Come on" over for lunch and dinner, too! Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Egg empanada ~ 6.4; five pepper manchego cheese ~ 6.7; three cheese & walnuts~ 6.6; Mission Blend ~ 7.0; reddish-orange salsa ~ 6.8; reddish-brown salsa ~ 7.0 1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, número uno: "Venga" translates from Spanish as either: "Come here", "Come on", "Come in", or "Come on in". The counter-server lady really couldn't give me the best translation. It's actually an Argentinean place and she was Mexican. The verb "to come" in Spanish is "venir". This comes from the same word root of the Classical Latin verb "venire" (as in: "Veni, vidi, vici."). 2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer of the day, número dos: "Empanada" is a Spanish loan word and is the past participle adjective (feminine) of the verb "empanar", meaning "to roll (bread) and fry". 3. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer of the day, número tres: "Manchego" simply means "from the La Mancha region" in Spanish. (I have to note here again that the pinche Spell-checkering Nazis at Microsoft did not even recognise this variety of cheese. Really, Billy-boy, you guys need to expand your culinary intake. I am sure that Henry Wensleydale would know exactly what it is and would always have it in stock… as long as the cat hasn't eaten it.)
"Let not the fierce Sun dry one tear of pain before thyself hast wiped it from the sufferer's eye." ~ Елена Петровна Блаватская[1]
http://www.pomelosf.com/ Place: pomelo[2] ~ REFRESHINGLY GLOBAL Location: 1793 church street (at 30th street) Hours: "brunch" (at least they have the good sense to use the minuscule for this snooty-assed word; they do seem to like the whole small letter theme and use it throughout their menu): saturday and sunday (see?) 10:00am Meal: motul (yucatàn)[3] ~ huevos motuleños - 2 fried eggs, 2 handmade crispy corn tortillas, puréed black beans, Niman (Ranch, not Leroy) ham, green pigeon peas, potatoes, fried plantain, queso fresco and spicy tomato sauce; and a cuppa (and two refillas) whatever the house Coffee was
(The juxtaselection of today's EweToobular song is simply the Latin Americaness of the "destination" of my breakfastary meal and the Lilliputian singer from República de Colombia. It's really not that bad of a song… unless it happens to be playing everywhere you go on the island of Tenerife the entire time while on Christmasary Holiday.[4]) I sojourned all the way over to Noe Valley for a globally refreshing breakfast ("brunch", whatever) this morning and went back to pomelo (see last 'blog entry from September 1st, 2012). pomelo used to be in my Breakfastary Rotation several years ago (especially back when they were still called Valentine's), but I had to DFA them due to the distance and time it took to get all the way over there. It just wasn't really worth the whole rigmarole[5] of the half-hour drive or more over there on a Saturday or Sunday (or saturday or sunday) morning. I am glad to see this place is still overly dog-friendly ("Valentine" was the name of the Scottie-dog of the human owners of the old place) as there was a small family of four humans with their two canine members (a Cocker Spaniel and a Black Lab-mix) sitting outside at one of the sidewalk tables.
There are many other goods ideas for breakfast (or "brunch"), both for stupid vegetarians and those bent on the carnivorous proclivity alike, that I still have yet to try: monte cristo (italy) (polenta sandwich with prosciutto, Mozzarella, sun dried tomato and basil, pan fried in olive oil, served with a balsamic reduction, two eggs your way and seasonal greens); makena (maui) (crunchy french toast - banana rum-stuffed egg brioche dipped in mascarpone egg batter and rolled in corn flakes, with roasted macadamias and warm coconut syrup; this was going to be my fall-back this morning, but I would have ordered it with a side of house potatoes); or masantol (philippines) (filipino style spicy sizzling tofu with chili peppers, garlic, onion, soy sauce and lemon; again, I would have had to order this with a side of potatoes). In case you hadn't noticed, each of these meals (as well as the one I actually went with) begins with the letter "M" (well, the letter "m") which would complete the whole "m-m-m-m…" of breakfastary goodness. Today's noe valley (san francisco) (which changes seasonally and can be made as either an omelette or scramble mess) was "3 organic free range eggs (I am not sure if that was supposed to mean "organic-free, range eggs" or "organic, free-range eggs"), shrimp, thai chili pepper, thai basil, tomato (they don’t specify if the tomato was of Thai origin or not), shallot and cilantro, served with multigrain toast and choice of house potatoes or organic field greens"; I suppose that I could have always ordered that without any of the dead, decaying aquatic insects.
This was all very good and reminiscent of Huevos Rancheros, just on crispy corn tortillas. Of course, I ordered it without any of the dead, decaying porcine hind leg slices, though. It had a nice enough salsa roja fresca. I liked the addition of the fried plantains (plátanos fritos) as a side-dish. However, the "pigeon peas" tasted just like "chicken peas" to me, Teddy. (Oh, come on, who didn't see that one coming?!) I just had two minor complaints with today's meal: 1) I was not given a freebie mini-muffin or mini-scone (which is usually placed in front of you as soon as you sit down). "Well, Brian, perhaps they stopped that practice since the last time you had visited two years ago." Nope. I saw them giving one to everyone else that had sat down after I did. and 2) I really could not discern any potatoes anywhere in my meal. So, I felt it absolutely necessary to steal the mini-pumpkin ornamental off my table. I am sure that all of my raccoonny and squirrelly buddies over at Raccoon Island will enjoy that small snack of fresh fruit (which, of course, we all know is actually a botanical berry). Two years ago, the house Coffee used to be Mr. Espresso®, but they may have changed the brand since then and I forgot to ask what they currently have. No matter, it was still all good. If you order tea, they bring it out in these really cool-looking wooden boxes from which to choose your preferred blend. At first, I thought that these were Backgammon board games and was about to ask for my own set, too. (Hey, I can play it solitary if I want; I just have to make sure that my opponent doesn't cheat like usual.) For condimentary supplementation, pomelo has a pretty decent selection. In addition to the Standard San Francisco Triumvirate of Hot Sauces (tSSFToHS): Tabasco®Brand Pepper Sauce (three types even: the standard red, green jalapeño, and Chipotle), Tapatío®, and Cholula®Hot Sauce; they also have two different kinds of El Yucateco® (Salsa Picante Roja de Chile Habanero and XXXtra Hot SauceSalsa Kutbil-ik® deChile Habanero [which I also have currently in my collection of hot sauces]). Even so, I still went with just a little of my own Florida GoldPremium Habanero Hot Sauce (Thanks, Kerry!) on top of the pile of junk (I really didn't want to overpower their own fresh salsa). As I was leaving, I think that I overheard one of the waitress/server-ladies say to another waitress/server-lady that I had taken some of their bottles of hot sauces, but the other waitress/server-lady let her know that those were just some bottles that I had brought with me… Ha! Just wait until they look for that mini-pumpkin table-garnishment.
Glen Bacon Scale Rating: motul (yucatàn) ~ 6.5 (don't worry, this GBS Rating only reflects the actual meal; I never take off any points for any omissions… however, this may have been a .1 or .2 higher with the inclusion of their fresh, warm, and tasty mini-muffin and some potatoes; we will never know now, will we?) 1. Who? (or Кто?) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helena_Blavatsky 2. Oh, my (Pig-)Dog! Verdammt Billy-boy Gates and his group of Nazi Spell-checkering Schweinehunde at Microsoft do not even recognise this common English word!!! I wonder if they even know the difference between a "shaddock" (of which, I see, they have absolutely no problem with the spelling) and a "grapefruit". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomelo 3. Where? (or ¿Dónde?) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motul,_Yucat%C3%A1n 4. And sometimes even when you are whale- and porpoise-watching off the coast on a large tourista catamaran. Back in 2002, I went to Tenerife (which should always be pronounced "Tenner-EEF-ay", not "Tenner-REEF") with my North Yorkshire hosts (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!) over Christmas week. We had gotten there on Christmas Eve day and it was a sweltering 95° (that would be Fahrenheit, not Celsius/Centigrade, Baron William Thomson). Luckily it cooled off big time for Christmas Day and was only 85° all day. The strangest part of all was that we did a day-trip during the week up to the highest point on Tenerife to Mount Teide (kinda pronounced as "Mount Teddy") and there was still plenty of snow on the top peaks. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teide Here's a little-known Cliff Clavin factoid: The next closest island in Islas Canarias archipelago is now called "La Gomera", but it was once known as "Elevenerife". The story goes that the entire island voted for the name-change in the late 1960's as they were all huge fans of Jim Nabors.* *(Please tell me that no one actually bought any of that idiotic joke.) Because of these un-winter-like temperatures, I really expected that I would have bragging rights that year over all of my family that were stuck in snowy Massachusetts still. However, my brother Kerry saw it fit to trump my good weather with a Christmas vacation trip of his own to the Bahamas that same year. Some people just hate to see you gloat over them! 5. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/(mostly) etymological pointer of the day: Per the definition taken directly from my edition of A Concise Etymological Dictionary of the English Language by the Reverend Walter W. Skeat: Rigmarole. (Scandinavian; and French - Latin) Well known to be a corruption of ragmanroll, originally a deed with many signatures, a long list of names; hence, a long stupid story. Literally 'coward's roll' - Icelandic ragmenni, a coward, from ragr, a coward, and maður ( = mannr), a man; with the addition of roll, for which see Roll. The Icelandic ragr seems to be allied to Icelandic argr, a coward, Anglo-Saxon earg.
"I don't want to spend my life 'dancing as if nobody is watching', but more like 'dancing as if everyone is watching and make sure they are all taking notes'." ~ Robin Williams[1]
(No official web-site.) Place: higher grounds coffee house ~ a nice little place to eat (it says so right on their window and they do not lie) Location: 691 Chenery Street (on the corner of Diamond Street); phonicular contact: (415) 587-2933 Hours: open daily at 8:00am Meal: Alla Toscana[2] (crêpe) ~ Mozzarella, Parmesan, olive oil, spinach, egg, Ricotta, special spices (savory crêpes served with potatoes & salad); and a cuppa the (Coffee)house blend
(In celebration of Veterans Day, which is coming up on Tuesday, I am including the first EweToobular song by Stevie Wonder. I bet that not many people were aware that Stevie Wonder used to be an Air Force Pilot back in Double-U, Double-U, Aye, Aye. The second song is just because they happened to be playing old 30's and 40's Big Band songs on the [Coffee]house stereo this morning. Of course, this massive hit for the "King of Swing", Benjamin David Goodman, was written by none other than "King Louie" Prima himself.) For this morning's breakfastary experience, I headed all the way over to higher grounds coffee house (alternately, this may be called higher ground ~ a coffeehouse, with a singular "ground" and "coffeehouse" as one word, as this is what the older wooden sign above the door reads) in Glen Park. It is a very small place; there is just seating of nine tables for two inside, and another two small tables for two on the sidewalk. It was a hopping little place the entire time I was there this morning with most of the tables occupied and a steady amount of walk-in customers taking stuff to go. There is even a pretty cool Coffee bag-covered ceiling.
There was just one guy (probably the owner-guy) working behind the counter taking orders, making Coffee drinks, and doing all the cooking when I first got there. Someone else showed up at 9:00am and was helping with all the duties afterward, though. It is super dog-friendly (if not maybe a little illegal), too, as there was a small, white Poodle-dog at another one of the (inside) tables when I had first got there. And everyone knows that you should never let dogs drink Coffee! There were several other good crêpes/ideas: Puttanesca[3] (tomato, olives, onion, mushroom, garlic, capers, red pepper, parsley, olive oil, sour cream); Simply Italian (Mozzarella, Parmesan, basil, spices, salt, pepper, olive oil, zucchini); Curry (bell pepper, cheese, onion, sour cream, potato); Salsa (avocado, olives, tomato, cheese, onion, salsa, sour cream); Cannelloni (cheese, onion, mushroom, spinach, cottage cheese, Marinara; this probably would have been my pick other than the one I went with); or Apple Cheese (cheese, apple, brown sugar, cinnamon; which I would have had to order a side of potatoes to go with). With this many good crêpes from which to choose, I will really have to make a plan to re-visit higher grounds again some time (of course, with all the re-visits and new places that I already have planned to visit, this may not happen for another two to three years).
This was a very good crêpe ~ kind of like an omelette inside a crêpe. This is a very cool idea. It had lots of spinach and Mozzarella that I detected, but I really couldn't discern much Ricotta. It was all still very good, anyhow. I actually liked this so much so that I claiming this place as "The Best 'New' (for me, at least) Crêpe Joint of 2014". The Coffee was very good, too. I asked the owner-guy what roast/blend they normally have prepared in the thermos up front, and he said it is a special (Coffee)house blend that they make themselves from a few different local wholesale Coffees that they buy. Now, I normally don't comment on the prices of any food or Coffee products (they are what they are), but I just found this to be pretty funny. They charge $2.07 for a standard cuppa. I have no idea why it is such an odd amount. Why not a more even $2.05 or $2.10? (Okay, yes, the current Sales Tax in San Francisco is 8.75% and that would make a standard cuppa $2.25 total with tax, but it is all a moot point if someone orders any other items with Coffee.) For condimentary supplements, higher grounds has just Tabasco®Brand Pepper Sauce available. They do also have bottles of fresh, whole peppercorn grinders on most tables, too. I used some of my own Fat Cat®Surprisingly Mild Guajillo Ghost (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the crêpe and some (the last of it ~ but don't cry for me, Argentina, I still have about a dozen more bottles of hot sauce left in my collection) Dave's Gourmet®Ginger Peach Hot Sauce (Thanks again, Jim!) on the potatoes.
Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Alla Toscana ~ 6.8 1. Nah, this is not really a quote by Robin Williams. This just goes to prove that you can't believe everything (or anything) that you read on the World Wild Webs. I made it up this morning on my way back from breakfast. I just thought it sounded like something Robin might have said; plus, it makes the quote sound funnier if he had said it. 2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, numero uno: "Alla Toscana" simply means "from/in the manner of Tuscany" in Italian. There is no corroboration that there was ever an Italian-Irish TeeVee show called "Alla McBeal", though. 3. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, numero due: "Puttanesca" means in Italian "of the whore". The word for "whore" in Italian is "puttana". The same word and word root "putana/puta" can be seen in Spanish, too.
http://causwells.com/ Place: Causwells ~ American Bistro Location: 2346 Chestnut Street (between Divisadero and Scott Streets) Hours: open for "Brunch" Saturday and Sunday at 9:00am Meal: Farm fresh omelet ~ eggplant, squash, arugula, Parmesan; a side order of Breakfast potatoes; and a (small) glass of fresh squeezed grapefruit juice
(Why EweToobular songs By Emily Wells? 'Cause I said so.) Causwells ~ American Bistro just opened in July of this year and this was my first breakfastary (or any-ary) visit there. They are located in the spot where Bechelli's used to be (see previous 'blog-entry from March 28th, 2010), right next door to the Presidio movie theatre (in a space that I can only assume was once part of the Presidio). They completely gutted and remodeled the entire inside. I like that they kept the circular front window from Bechelli's, that was a good idea and a bit of an homage to the original 1950's style diner. There is still the other Bechelli's restaurant at the Flower Market (and, coincidentally enough, which is called Bechelli's Flower Market Cafe). I think that the Marina location of Bechelli's had been closed for about two years now (maybe less). I was one of the first people to get there this morning and sat outside where they have eight tables for two along the sidewalk (but only two umbrellas). As the Sun was out and shining brightly, I was sure to score one of the tables that was being shaded by one of the umbrellas. There is probably seating inside for thirty to forty people (I really didn't pay much attention) since they no longer have the u-shaped diner-counter in the middle of the space. All eight of the sidewalk tables filled up almost immediately, too. For some reason, the name of place is "Causwells" in the plural, and not "Causwell's" in the possessive. I really did not think to ask anyone why this was. The "Brunch" moniker could be forgiven as they open up early enough to just be considered breakfast; however, the minimalist menu and the neighborhood really dictates it being called a "Brunch" joint. And they are definitely catering to the whole Chestnut Street "Brunch" crowd (even if you didn't graduate from an Ivy League college, or don't own a Labrador ~ whether Yellow, Chocolate, or Black ~ or Golden Retriever). The only other ideas that I might have had for breakfast ("Brunch", whatever) were: Deviled eggs (a trio of halves: "classic/avocado/smoked trout"; of course, I would always have doubled up on the avocado ones and skipped the Roy one); Roasted beets salad (with baby garnet yams, pistachio vinaigrette, gribiche[1]); French toast bites (with a Brandy sauce); or House made ricotta, rosemary honey, lavosh [sic]. And that really is about the extent of their "Brunch Fare" menu for stupid vegetarians.
I liked the squash addition in this omelette as this is not a normal/standard ingredient for an omelette. At first I thought it might have been some kind of Kabocha Squash, but it had both an orange skin/rind and flesh. I asked my friendly waiter-server guy, Nick, and he said it was an "Autumn Squash". Now, I really have no idea what that means (I have heard of both "Summer" and "Winter" squashes), and I think that it was probably just some kind of Butternut Squash or such. The sweet taste of the squash was nice, but the omelette really could have used some kind of salty element in it. Perhaps they could have used just a little more Parmesan cheese to balance out the sweetness with some saltiness. I wonder if Kalamata olives would have worked with this combination; if nothing else, that would have been a great tribute omelette to the San Francisco Giants (who are the 2014 MLB World Champions of the World if you were not aware). Or maybe even use some nice Feta in place of the Parmesan; it always seems to come down to Feta and Kalamata olives with me. The Breakfast potatoes were okay. There were lots of (white) onions and (red) bell peppers in it. However, I would have liked that the potatoes were a little bit crispier. Causwells only had Cholula®Hot Sauce on all the tables for condimentary supplementation. I used some of my own Fairhope FavoritesAged-N-Charred Moonshine Hot Sauce XXX (Thanks, Phyll!) on the omelette stuff and some Nando's®Extra HotPeri-Peri Sauce (Thanks, Kerry!) on the potatoes. While I was sitting there waiting for my food to arrive, a couple stopped by and looked at the place with a little perplexing look. I asked them if they were looking for Bechelli's, and that was exactly it. I told them that it had closed a while back now, and they commented, "That's what happens when you only get back here every so often from the East Bay." They looked a little disappointed and didn't seem too impressed with the (fancy-shmancy) looks of Causwells, so I pointed them in the direction of Judy's CAFE (see recent 'blog-entry from August 16th, 2014) which is just another block down Chestnut Street on the same side of the street. Maybe in another thirty-plus years people will be lamenting the passing of Causwells, too. Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Farm fresh omelet ~ 6.4 1. I have absolutely no idea what the heck "gribiche" is, so here is a somewhat explanation from the friendly folks at WikipediA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sauce_gribiche
This 'blog-entry is not a review of the recent 2014 Summer Comedy written by, directed by, produced by, and starring Jon Favreau. This is more along the line of a full-blown 'blog-entry rant on the use of the word "Chef" as if it is some kinda special honorarium. "Yes, Chef." "I am sorry, Chef." "I won't let it happen again, Chef." I watch a lot of the food network (and it's smarmy little sister the Cooking Channel), and I mean a LOT.[1] (Between MLB Network, ESPN, and a few other selected TeeVee programs, I probably waste more time with all of their stupid programs than any other cable channel.) It has always bugged me to hear everyone using the simple word "chef" as if it is some acclaimed title. chef noun 1. the chief cook, especially in a restaurant or hotel, usually responsible for planning menus, ordering foodstuffs, overseeing food preparation, and supervising the kitchen staff. 2. any cook. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/quasi-culinaristic pointer of the day: "Chef" comes from French "chef" (funny how that works, huh?). It is short for "chef de cuisine", literally "head of the kitchen", from Old French "chief", meaning "leader, ruler, head". "Chief" in turn comes from Vulgar Latin "capum" (also the source of both Spanish and Portuguese "cabo", and Italian "capo"), from Latin "caput", meaning "head", also "leader, guide, chief person; summit; capital city". And, just as an exalting lark, here is one of the accepted terms of venery for a group of chefs: "a temperance of cooks". I don't care what anyone says, chef/cook is a job, it is not a title. Would you ever refer to any other person by their pedestrian professions? "How are you today, Barber Joe?"; "Thanks for the ride, Bus Driver Ralph!"; "Those were some awesome pastries and drumming, Baker Ginger!"; etc. Just because I write a stupid li'l 'blog-thingy, I don't expect people to start calling me "Author Brian". (Though, would it really kill ya to do so once in a while?) This all hearkens back to when I first joined the Air Force and they made sure to drill it into our pointy little heads to be sure to call all officers by "Sir" or "Ma'am" as a term of respect. However, if any of us poor bastards mistakenly happened to use that honorific on one of the lowly NCO instructors at Basic Training: "Don't call me 'Sir'! My parents were married!" Most of these "Celebrity Chefs" that they employ as hosts of shows on the food network aren't really classically-trained chefs or cooks even. They are just "television personalities" (again, not to be considered a "title" in any way): exempli gratia, Rachael Ray, Giada De Laurentiis (and, let's be truly honest here, guys, how many of you are really ever even watch a thing that she is cooking?), Alton Brown, Joey Fatone (Really?! He wasn't even the most popular member in his boy-band, and that band wasn't even the most popular boy-band in the 90's, anyway), Guy "Fietti" (This idiot can't even pronounce his own d*mn last name correctly, so, I'll be d*mned if I would ever kowtow to him by calling him "Cheffy-poo"! This fool could easily be a rant for another entire blog-entry, so just don't get me started, Emeril!), etc. Also, most of the "Judges" that they have on their competition shows aren't even cooks (let alone "Chefs"). They can be either more "Celebrity Chefs"; owners of restaurants (I own and drive a car, but that doesn't mean I am qualified to start calling myself "Chauffer Brian" or "Mechanic Brian".); Executive Chefs (I am only capitalising it hear as I am using it as a specific profession, not some kind of a highfalutin titular accomplishment); and even just stupid food magazine editors (another profession where I would never think to refer to someone as "Editor Such-and-such"; unless, of course, their last name really happens to be "Such-and-such"), writers of cookbooks, or just other stupid food 'bloggers. (And how come those "Cheffy" elitist bastages have never contacted me to participate in judging any of these contests? I love to eat and can pretend to turn my nose up at the production of all the hardworking contestants, too. Maybe that is my real complaint here.) Additionally, I have seen many of these contestant "Chefs" competing on several different TeeVee shows, too. Don't you have actual jobs or restaurants that you should be running? And the same can be said for the multitude of "Celebrity Chef" judges, too. And some of the inane sayings that they espouse each and every time on these programs are equally tiresome: "You eat with your eyes first…" Does that also mean "you smell with your ears first" (well, I suppose little Stevie Wonder and Andrea Bocelli might)? Or that "you see through your nose first" (I have been known to look down my nose at some of these stupid "Chefs" before, though)? "Depth of flavour"? Just what the H-E-Double Hockey-sticks is that supposed to mean? Has anyone really ever fallen victim to a "shallowness of flavour" or drowned in the deep end of the flavour pool? If you ask me, a lot of these "Chefs" seem a bit under-seasoned mentally themselves. Don't get me wrong, I know that a number of chefs (not "Chefs") and cooks have actually trained at Le Cordon Bleu and other professional culinary institutes. However, just because someone else might graduate from a university with a B.A. or B.S. or M.B.A., they are not expecting everyone to automatically start calling them "Artist Leonardo" or "Scientist Albert" or "Master Bates". If you ask me (and, even if you didn't ask me, I am telling you, anyway), this may probably be the best use of "Chef". On Dictionary.com, they have the slang definition of "chef" as: "A person who prepares opium for smoking." Now THAT may make the most sensible use of "Chef" as an honorary title! I mean, it's not as if any of these idiots actually have the last name of "Boyardee" or anything… 1. The running joke here is that I hate to cook and people are always asking me, "Why do you watch so many cooking programs when you don't even cook yourself?" To which I usually reply, "Well, I am not expecting to ever score with any Playboy Playmates*, but that doesn't mean that I still don't like to watch them, though." *(Now that is also one honorary term that makes perfect sense to me.)
"All things are to be considered and called into question ~ there are no limits set to thought." ~ Robert Kennedy
http://www.1428haight.com/ Place: 1428 Haight ~ Patio Cafe and Crepery Location: (I can not really be sure, but… I think they are located at) 1428 Haight Street (between Masonic Avenue and Ashbury Street); phonicular contact: (415) 864-8484 (they have an official web-site ~ see above ~ but it is currently "under construction") Hours: open for breakfast daily at 8:00am Meal: Veggie Omelette ~ Tomato, Roasted Eggplant, Spinach, Kalamata Olives, & Feta Cheese ~ choice of Rosemary Garlic Potatoes, Fries, House Salad, Fresh Fruit, or Soup of the Day & choice of toast; and a large glass of homemade lemonade
(Time… Daylight Saving… get it? The interesting thing about this EweToobular video is that both Sheryl Crow[1] and Steve Earle are performing it live together. The story was that when it was originally recorded ~ for the soundtrack to "Steal This Movie!" ~ Steve and Sheryl actually recorded their respective parts in separate studios: Steve was in Nashville and Sheryl was in Los Ångeles. I don't think there was any animosity between the two of them; it was probably just that was the easiest thing for both of their busy schedules.) While walking through the Panhandle on my way over to 1428 Haight ~ Patio Cafe and Crepery for breakfast this morning, I kept scanning the trees for any signs of my fine-feathered buddies, the Wild Parrots of San Francisco. I didn't see any of the noisy little buggers ("noisy little budgies"?) this morning, but I did see a few Crows (not Sheryl, unfortunately; and they may have actually been Ravens) and some Mockingbirds (and me without my .22, Atticus) and a bit of komorebi[2] to boot. 1428 Haight has lots of available seating (because unavailable seating isn't much to speak of, really): two front/window booths for four people, eleven tables for two, five tables for four people, and one round table for six people. Plus, there is a large covered (but open-aired) patio café area (hence the Patio Cafe and Crepery part of their name) that has twelve more tables for two. It was still a little cool in back, so I just fair-weathered it and stayed up front.
Talk about turning back your clocks today, it seemed that 1428 Haight had turned back the calendar all the way to the 1980's as they were primarily playing Rock-and/or-Roll songs from that era all morning long while I was there (e.g. Spilt Enz "I Got You"; .38 Special "Hold On Loosely"; Pet Shop Boys "Always On My Mind"; Whitesnake "Is This Love"; and Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax"[3]). Like a lot of places along Haight Street, you order and pay at the front counter first and then they give you a number (well, here they actually give out street name signs; I got "16th Street" today) to place on your table (of course, I would much rather have food placed on my table). A lot of items remain on their menu from when they were still part of the Squat &Gobble Cafe & Crepery mini-chain, but they have added some new items, too. A couple of other ideas for me this morning might have been: Huevos Rancheros (two eggs over easy, in between two corn tortillas, melted Pepper Jack cheese, topped with tomatillo & guajillo salsa, crispy tortilla strings, jalapeño cream, & black bean chili); Cali Omelette (grilled chicken apple sausage, roasted tomatoes, the vile weed, avocado, mushrooms, onions, Pepper Jack cheese, topped with fresh salsa & jalapeño sour cream; of course, I would have ordered this without either the ground-up dead, decaying poultry flesh or the vile weed); or Haight & Ashbury (grilled ham, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, tomatoes, & Cheddar cheese; again, I would have ordered this without any of the dead, decaying porky bits). Additionally, as they are a crêperie (it says so right in their name, if not mispelded), the Mediterranean (eggplant, spinach, Feta & Cheddar cheese, oregano, Kalamata olives, onions, roasted tomatoes, roasted red peppers, toasted pine nuts, & cucumber yogurt dressing; this really wasn't very different than the omelette I decided on, anyway) crêpe sounded interesting. Plus, they offer a few different types of pancakes, waffles, and Stuffed French Toast (house made sweet cream, Bourbon maple glazed plantains, fresh strawberries, whipped cream, and hot maple syrup; which may need looking into another time).
Other than the disappointing and ubiquitously pedestrian "Veggie" moniker of the omelette, this was all very good. It had lots of Feta and Kalamata olives in it, which are usually the ingredients that most restaurants will cheat you out on (… cheat you out of? … with which they will cheat you out? … whatever). My side choices were: Rosemary Garlic Potatoes (Why would any sane person ever choose a "salad" over potatoes?) and sourdough toast. These were really very decent roasted potatoes, and I was glad of that choice; they were chunky and full of flavour, and there was a good amount of them, too (while these were not quite as good as the Excellent! Roasted Home Potatoes at Eats, they were still very good on their own). The homemade lemonade was as good as I could ever make at home (well, much better, as I have never really made any homemade lemonade before). And after I had finished it, they have these lemon-mint water pitchers that are really refreshing, too (well, the water is refreshing, but the pitchers are also a pretty refreshing idea on their own). For condimentary supplements, 1428 Haight has Tabasco®Brand Hot Sauce (both the standard red and green jalapeño), Tapatío®, and Huy Fong Foods Inc.®Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce. I went with a little of my own Fat Cat®Strawberry Serrano Hot Sauce (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the omelette and some Born to Hulapresents Devon Allman'sAll Natural Hot SauceChipotle Blues (Thanks, Kerry!) on the potatoes. I had to ask if the raspberry jam (preserves/jelly) that was provided with the toast was homemade. I was told no, but that they do order it and have it made special for them; it was very chunky and tasty, which was why that I assumed it had to be homemade. Glen Bacon Scale Rating: "Veggie" Omelette ~ 6.9 (this is factoring in both the good Rosemary Garlic Potatoes and the good raspberry jam/preserves/jelly stuff) 1. Do you think that when Sheryl has a family reunion, it is quite a murderous affair? 2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day: "Komorebi" is a Japanese noun that simply means "The sunlight that filters through the leaves of the trees." 3. I heard that in an effort to modernize their image, the Catholic Church had recently printed 1,000,000 t-shirts to be given away at this year's Christmas Service at the Vatican with the phrase: "Pope Frankie says 'Relax!'" And, of course, once again, they prove themselves to yet still be about thirty years behind the times.
"I'm not interested in reality, bring me the magic!" ~ Tennessee Williams, Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire (I heard that he was originally going to set the play in San Francisco, not N'Orleans, but "A Cable Car Named Powell & Hyde" just didn't have quite the same effect.)
http://cliffhouse.com/bistro/ Place: Bistro Restaurant at Cliff House Location: 1090 Point Lobos (at the end of the Earth/Ocean Beach) Hours: open for breakfast Monday - Saturday at 9:00am and Sunday at 8:30am Meal: Sautéed Vegetable[1]Scramble ~ Scrambled Eggs, Red Peppers, Tomatoes, Scallions, Button Mushrooms, and Melted Goat Cheese ~ served with fresh fruit and roasted potatoes; and, of course, a basket of (World) Famous Cliff House Popovers(!)
(This is as good as it gets today for a EweToobular juxtaselections. "Fork" ~ "breakfast", get it? Whatever. I was actually going to save that song for when I finally went to Fork for breakfast, but I found out that they have recently closed shop ~ restaurant, whatever ~ before I could ever eat there.) In finally closing out my Breakfastary Rotation for the season (and just a few days after the closing of the Baseball Season, have you; thus, Football Season has officially begun with me now. Congratulations to the 2014 World Series Champion San Francisco Giants!), I went back to Bistro Restaurant at Cliff House (see last 'blog-entry from July 2oth, 2014). For such a supposably nice sunny morning, there was just one solo surfer (because two solo surfers would be a duo) out enjoying the waves along Ocean Beach this morning. (See. Just as a passerine bird of the Family Alaudidae[2], I decided to use "supposably"[3] ~ which everyone knows shud aktually be spellded "supossably" ~ to see if anyone was paying attention there.) I did see a pouch of pelicans[4] flying right by my window, too. I think I found a wall of Hollywoodland stars autographed pictures that I have not yet chronicled/documented. It included the likes of : Archibald Leach (who has never been in my kitchen either, Cliff), Richard Bernard "Red" Skelton, Danny Glover, and Sonja Henie (without her tutu, though, Tommy and Ray). Unfortunately, I thought that I had already included it before. It looks like I need to photograph that wall in January with my next scheduled visit (or sooner if I go back before then). I think that it would be nice if the restaurant would document all of their autographed photos and maybe have a directory of names. Also, Jackie Gleason was looking over my shoulder the whole time I was eating breakfast (I have already documented that wall once before). I think he was eyeing my (World) Famous Cliff House Popovers(!). You may be "The Great One", but you can get your own damn (World) Famous Cliff House Popovers(!), Reginald Van Gleason III.
I have had this same meal several times over (the last time was in January) now. It's always very good, but the real reason I keep coming back several times a year is their (World) Famous Cliff House Popovers(!); of which there were three in the basket this morning. Nice! (They always ask if you would like more, but I have found that three is about my limit and I would hate to waste any of them if they brought out more.) Today's fruits[5]: grapes; strawberry (just one, hence the singular); watermelon; cantaloupe; and honeydew melon. Bistro Restaurant has for condimentary supplementation just Tabasco®Brand Hot Sauce (the standard red). I used just a little of my own (as a little goes a long way with this one) Fat Cat® Chairman Meow's Revenge (Scorpion Pepper Sauce) (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the scrambled mess and some El Yucateco®XXXtra Hot SauceSalsa Kutbil-ik® deChile Habanero (Thanks, Brian! I think it's pretty funny that of the dozen or so hot sauces that I currently have in my collection, I may have contributed just one or two myself.) on the potatoes. Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Sautéed Vegetable Scramble ~ 6.7; (World) Famous Cliff House Popovers(!) ~ 8.2 1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, számú: Just because I felt like it (and because the whole Uralic Language Family is all a bit of a mystery to me), here are the words for all of the vegetables in Hungarian. (Sorry, you are on your own as to the actual pronunciation of any of these words. It took me four days in Budapest just to learn how to say "Thank you.") Vegetable ~ "zöldség" Red bell pepper ~ "piros kaliforniai paprika" Tomato ~ "paradicsom" Scallion ~ "zöldhagymavál" Button mushroom ~ "gomb gomba" 2. That would be more commonly known as a "Lark" to most of you non-lovers of Fine Feathered Friends. The actual term of venery for a group of larks is an "exaltation of larks". Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, szám két: "Lark" in Hungarian is "pacsirta" (the bird) and "czíny" (a prank). 3. I was very surprised to find out that both "supposably" and "supposedly" are actual correct adverbs for either (respectively) "suppose" or "supposed". Who knew? Apparently not Billy-boy Gates and his group of Spell-checker Nazis at Microsoft, as they do not recognise "supposably" as a valid word. Seems like they are about as intelligent as Ms. Chanandler Bong and also owe Joey Tribbiani an apology. 4. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, szám három: Can you say "Pelican" in Hungarian? Like hell I can, it's "pelikán". As best as I can tell, the actual term of venery for a group of pelicans is a "pod". But that seemed kind of boring, so I came up with my own term ~ a "pouch of pelicans"; it just sound like it belongs. 5. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, szám négy: Also the Hungarian words for: Fruit ~ "gyümölcs" Grape ~ "szőlő" Strawberry ~ "eper" Watermelon ~ "görögdinnye" Cantaloupe ~ "kantalup dinnye" Honeydew melon ~ "sárgadinnye"
