And just who the hell is this Rolf Mao guy, and why does everyone seem to think he is so damned funny?
(Take your pick of versions of this song. It was originally written and performed by Nick Lowe, but Mr. MacManus had a much bigger success with his version. I included the last video as a counterpoint, you ignorant slut, Jane. That one was just by some no-name guy and his buddies; I felt sorry for him as it is very obvious that he will never have a career in the Rock-and/or-Roll World.
By the way, I had the pleasure of hearing both Nick and Elvis sing their versions [as well as one by Steve Earle; however, I couldn't locate his version on stupid EweToob] ~ and all on the same weekend ~ at one of the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festivals a few years back.)
(This is not a breakfastary 'blog-entry whatsoever, but a)
Stupid Intro-Net Jargon Rant
LOL… lol… lulz…
ROFL… ROTFL… ROFLMAO…
Hardyharhar…
I don't know about you, but I am pretty fed-up with all of this newfangled, cutesy Intro-Net jargon that is out there lately. Now, I am not saying that we need to form some kind of Intro-Net Vernacular Police (which really ain't that bad an idea), but what the hell is wrong with just typing out complete words now-a-days?
The first time that I ever encountered "LOL"/"lol" in a chat room or forum, I thought someone was commenting about me being a "Loser On-Line" or something. Either that, or I really couldn't figure out why they were giving a random shout-out to some dairy company in Minnesota. By the time I had it figured out, they had already logged off and it was too late to get the joke.
The next time that I saw "ROFLMAO", I was equally as confused and could only think that it must be some kinda Italiano curse word aimed at me! I had to have it explained to me that this was not a misspelling of the name of Richie Cunningham's redheaded buddy on "Happy Days" or the actor that played "The Karate Kid". Maybe it was a Teutonic Communist reference?
I understand that a lot of these words came into the Intro-Net lexicon due to the ease and brevity that it takes to type them, and some came about due to "texting" (and don't EVEN get me started on the stupidity of that phase… um, kids, this was called telegraphing and Morse Code back before your great-grandparents were born; it is not such a new technology) charges. However, how hard is it to type "hahaha" or just simply "ha!" instead? "Hahaha" only requires a few additional keystrokes more than "LOL", and "Ha!" has the exact same amount of spacing. Most mobular phone plans have unlimited "texting" already built into the charges now-a-days, anyway. If you are in the comfort of your own home, typing away like one of the good Intro-Net monkeys we all have become, just how hard is it to type a few extra letters on your home PC or laptop? IMHO, this is really just an excuse for extreme laziness…
Now before you start calling me a technophobe or "grumpy ol' man McGowan" (and if I catch you damned kids playing with that Frisbee pie plate thingy on my lawn one more time, I will keep it for good and call your parents!), I have nothing against 21st Century (or even outdated 20th Century) technology. I know many people that own and use one of those micro-waveable oven contraptions and are very happy with their nuclear-heated, tasteless food. And I do plan on getting myself one of the newest telephony devices as soon as they come out with the "implant" or something better than just a wannabe Star Trek communicator. (By the way, the motor on my Betamax is about shot, does anyone know of a good electric repairman?)
If you still must insist on abbreviating your emotions, at least have the decency to be original about it. Here are a few examples that will get your mindless friends thinking for a change:
"555" in place of the ubiquitous "LOL" (By the way, "ubiquitous" is a great word to learn as you see it everywhere now-a-days. Look it up, you lazy bastages! It's not as if you don't have access to the World Wild Webs at your fingertips!); it has the exact same amount of keystrokes and is actually quicker to type as it uses the same key three times. The word for the number "five" in Thai is pronounced "ha"; hence, this would be "hahaha". Get it?! Good!
"xaxaxa" in place of "LOL", too. This is simply the Russkij transliteration of "hahaha". The letter "x" in Russian is pronounced as a guttural "kh" sound; this is sort of the sound your cat would make while coughing up a hairball.
(You can consider those first two examples as stupid, cunning linguist extra pointers of the day if you like.)
"GA" ("Guffawing Audibly") in place of "LMAO".
(And my personal favorite)
"CMBOMN" ("Chortlin' My Beverage Outta My Nose") in place of "ROLFMAOTSE-TUNG".
I blame it all on Al Gore for inventing the Intro-Net and his stupid Global Colding conspiracies. Besides, when it comes to "LOL", I much prefer Parkay®…
What's so funny 'bout acronyms, banality[1], and misunderstandings, Deckie?
Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Nick Lowe ~ 6.8; Elvis Costello ~ 7.5; Rick Springfield and friends ~ 7.0
[1] (Just in case you thought you could get away without another) stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo etymological pointer du jour:
"Banality" comes from the French noun "banalité", meaning "commonplace". This comes from the French adjective "banal", meaning "up your arses, ya buncha lazy buggers".
And don't think that I am being banal retentive about all of this Intro-Net crap, Mr. Miagi.
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