Car Talk

Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers

http://www.cartalk.com/


Car Talk is a weekly NPR[1] radio show hosted by due fratelli pazzi, Tom and Ray Magliozzi[2] (pronounced: "mahl-YOTZEE", or closely there enough). While their show is generally about cars, car repairs, and "and the", there is a valid breakfastary connection for me.

The show is actually taped on Wednesday afternoons, but it is (re)broadcast locally here on Saturday (on two different NPR affiliates) and Sunday (on just one station) mornings. It has become something of a tradition with me ever since I stumbled across the program completely by accident one Saturday morning while searching through the dials (see, kids, car radios back in the early 90's used to be analog and you would have to turn actual knobs to change channels). For the past twenty years or more, I have been religiously enjoying the (fr)antics of these two nut-jobs[3] (and I may even have learned a thing or two about simple car repairs/maintenance between all the laughs, but I am sure that was all accidental, too) while driving to my early morning repasts. Now I catch their show anytime between 9:00-11:00am on Saturdays (or just 10:00-11:00am on Sundays).

The two cohorts/antagonists are brothers from Cambridge, MA. Tommy is the older of the two, and both brothers actually are graduates of Massachusetts Institute of Technology/MIT (guess they couldn't get into Hahvahd or Tufts). And, if you have ever listened to the show, you may find it hard to believe, but Tommy even has a PhD (in his case, I think it might stand for Doctor of Phunology, though). Ray also operates the car-repair shop in Cambridge that they both own; the shop is not that far from the Central Square T stop (and in the vicinity of MIT). My brother Kerry (who works in nearby Hahvahd Yahd) has taken his own car to the shop in the past (whether they were successful in fixing any of his automotive maladies has never been determined).

One of my favourite things about Car Talk is that it is a show that is broadcast in three halves (split into three twenty-minute segments). I use this same obfuscatory logic all the time myself whenever ordering one of my favourite non-alcoholic drinks: half orange juice-half cranberry juice-half ginger ale. If the poor, befuddled bartender complains and says: "But that's three halves!", I just tell them to make it in an extra large glass.

Another fun thing about the show is that at the end of each show they credit a list of silly, pseudo-names of their official Dewey, Cheetham, & Howe[4] staff, for example:

Airline Seat Tester ~ Wilma Butfit
Car Talk Bouncer ~ Euripedes Ibreakayourface
Car Talk Ice Rink Manager ~ Sam Boney
Chief Negotiator ~ Bernadette Bridge
Conservative Political Commentator ~ Eileen Tudor-Wright
Corporate Spokesperson ~ Hugh Lyon Sack
Customer Car Care Representative ~ Haywood Jabuzoff
Director of Staff Pay Increases ~ Xavier Breath (and his assistant, Tony Von Thinkett)
Head of Working Mother Support Group ~ Erasmus B. Dragon
Proof Reader ~ Erin Spelling
Russian Chauffeur ~ Picov Andropov

(and, of course, the entire Payne-Diaz family)
Adopted Son from Sweden ~ Bjorn A. Payne-Diaz
Brother in the Military ~ Major Payne-Diaz
Customer Service Specialist ~ Begonia Payne-Diaz
Distant Cousin in Mexico ~ Jaime Royal Payne-Diaz
Father-in-Law Liaison ~ Royal Payne-Diaz
Mother-in-Law Liaison ~ Stella Payne-Diaz
Recently Discovered Uncle from Warsaw ~ Zbigniew Payne-Diaz
Teenage Daughter ~ Sasha Royal Payne-Diaz
Two-year-old ~ Ariel Payne-Diaz

You get the idea.

They end every show with the sage admonition: "Don't drive like my brother!" Years ago I had license plate holders made for both my brother Kerry and myself with that motto. I have been complimented many times by complete strangers driving by: "Hey, Car Talk!"

Sadly, all good things must come to an end; according to Wikipedia:
 
"On June 8, 2012, it was announced that after 35 years of hosting the show, the Magliozzi brothers were retiring and that Car Talk would stop producing new episodes as of October 2012, but that NPR will continue airing the show in reruns."

As long as they keep rebroadcasting the shows, I am sure I will keep listening along on my way to breakfast every weekend.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Tommy Magliozzi ~ 8.2; Ray Magliozzi ~ 8.25 (just to cause some fraternal strife; as a younger brother myself, I have to give an extra .05 to Ray for putting up with Tommy for all these years)


1. NPR stands for National Public Radio, that is the PBS of the radio-waves. However, I am not sure if that makes Tommy "Bert" to Ray's "Ernie".

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer del giorno, numero uno:
 
"Magliozzi" ~ is Italiano for either "buffoonery"* or "bad mechanics"*.

*(Nah. Don't believe everything you read on the Intro-Net.

Actually, "maglio" is Italiano for "hammer/mallet", and I am sure that is also how Tommy and Ray have been known to work on the most simplest of engine repairs.
 
I could not find any corroborating evidence that the similar Spanish first name of "Magglio" also means "hammer". So I am sorry Mr. Ordóñez Delgado, it looks like Henry Louis Aaron gets to maintain that particular sobriquet. You are more than welcome to keep "Maggs", unless you'd prefer "Bad Mechanic", though.)

3. While Tommaso e Raimundo are neither Hickory nor Pecan farmers, I am not insulting them by calling them this. This is a term of endearment (emphasis on the "ment" part of the word) which they bandy about amongst and abouts themselves all the time.

4. The "Chief Legal Counsel" being Hugh Louis Dewey, Esquire.