farm : table

the mini-"meh?!" factor.

http://farmtablesf.com/

(Today's EweToob-ish link is two-fold: a) this weekend is Noel Yang's 24th annual Bridge School Benefit concert, and 2) it kinda goes with the theme of today's Lilliputian breakfast, Lemuel. Play this one LOUD!)


i ate breakfast this morning at farm : table (they actually have this in the minuscule[1] on their sign and web-site, which seems completely appropriate with the portion sizes). they are located on post street, in the lower nob hill area (or upper tenderloin, take your pick).

To say this place is tiny, Tim, would be a huge exaggeration. There is only one large bench-table inside the front room space (in the above photo, what you see is what there is) that can seat 6-8 people (six people comfortably; eight people that really like each other) and two sidewalk tables that can seat 2-3 people (again, optimally two people; three people if all they get is coffee drinks and nothing to eat). So, if my calculations are correct that would be about 10-14 people total (good thing it wasn't twenty-one total or I would have had to take off my shoes). Okay in all fairness, this place is really just a glorified coffeehouse which serves coffee and pastries/baked goods; however, they do have a very minor breakfast menu with a few (about 4-5) different breakfastary items that will change daily/weekly with whatever is freshly/seasonably available. I sat outside at one of the small, round tables; luckily it was only a bit chilly out this morning (the Sun was out at least).

Pocket-Sized Urban(e) Rant of the Day:

In front of the restaurant, there is one of the newest urban (and completely useless) phenomenon called "Parklets". This mini-mind idea seemed to have sprung up a few years ago in North Beach with a few of these showing up along Columbus Avenue (sure, because it's not hard enough to find a parking spot along that busy street as it is). This particular one takes up three car spaces; they are usually just two car spaces, though. Now I am all for making the best use of what little space is available in a crowded city. However, you want to experience verdancy? Just go to Golden Gate Park, dammit! It's not as if it's that hard to get to from anywhere in the City.

Anyway, back to breakfast… I had their Frittata "with late summer vegetables and cheddar, plus a side salad". I also had a cuppa coffee; they offer ROASTco Artisanal Coffees (a local roastery out of Oakland), today's blend/roast was Honduras.

http://www.roastco.com/

This was an extremely pint-sized frittata (about the size of an English muffin in diameter and thickness) and even the side salad was pretty teeny. The frittata included as summer vegetables (apparently in keeping with the whole diminutive theme): baby zucchinis and some white onions; and that was all I could detect (maybe it was a rather petite late summer harvest from which to choose, too). This was actually pretty good, but I can hardly recommend this place to anyone with an appetite larger than a three year old's; plus, they do not offer any kind of potato side dishes (either large or small). At least the coffee was good and strong.

I didn't really ask what farm : table had in the way of condimentary supplements, but I did use some of my own Serious Food… Silly Prices, Sweet Heat Hot Sauce (Thanks, Cindy!) on the frittata; and a teensy amount of BIG PAPI En Fuego Hot Sauce Off The Wall Triple (Thanks, Kerry!) on the salad (just a skosh ~ as a little goes a long way). I also used some of my portable black pepper grinder (Thanks for the idea, Dave!) on both.

Now this really is a perfectly respectable coffeehouse; however, it really doesn't warrant going back to again for breakfast. (I wonder if Steve Martin is a part-owner of the place.) Maybe next weekend's breakfastary travels will bring me to the Brobdingnag Café…

"It's a small World… but I wouldn't want to paint it." ~ Steven Wright


glen bacon scale rating:  frittata ~ 6.4 (even if it were an actual adult-sized portion, I probably would still have only rated it 6.5 due to the lack of late summer vegetable choices); ROASTco, Honduras ~ 6.8


[1] Stupid, useless cunning linguist/semi-grammatical pointer of the day:
 
"Minuscule" comes from the Latin word "minusculus" simply meaning "smallish", Clark.