Sunday, April 26, 2015


"All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
~ Wild Bill Shakespeare, As You Like It
Act 2, Scene 7

(No official web-site… still.)

Place: Eats
Location: 50 Clement Street (on the corner of 2nd Avenue); phonicular contact: (415) 751-8000
Hours: open every day of the week at 8:00am
Meal: Two Tofu Tacos ~ (v) zucchini, bell peppers, Hungarian peppers[1], corn, pico de gallo, cabbage slaw, avocado, beans, grilled tortillas, (Excellent! Roasted Home) potatoes or salad; and a large glass (well, they call it "large", but it’s just a normal-sized glass) of Power "C" ~ grapefruit, orange, and pineapple

(There really is no particular reason for these gray-ish and away-ish EweToobular songs; I just felt like it, Earl.)

The continuation of the Spring workout of my Breakfastary Starting Rotation brought me back to Eats (see last 'blog-entry from January 11th, 2015). I sat at one of the window-counter seats looking out onto Clement Street again.

I really figured that by now I have had most every item (that is suitable for stupid vegetarians) on their menu, but there are actually still a few more items that I need to try one of these days:

Chilaquiles ((v) fried tortillas[sic] chips, black beans, tomatillo salsa, pico de gallo, scrambled eggs, Feta, sour cream, cilantro; and I am very surprised that I haven't had their version of this dish before);
Huevos Rancheros ((v) fresh tomato salsa, beans, over easy eggs, pepper Jack, avocado, sour cream); 
So Happy Hotcake ((v) lemon poppyseed pancake, strawberry compote, sour cream whip, balsamic reduction, powdered sugar; they have this in the singular, as if you get just one pancake with an order, but they also list a "half" order, so I assume that it is actually two pancakes, or else maybe you just get a half-pancake with a "half" order).

"Two Tofu Tacos (taste best by the tee-tore)"?! Now that was a terribly troublesome tongue-twister too early in the morning for this twit. These were not your typical Tía Lorena Garcia's Taco Bell® mierda; these were made with soft corn tortillas and were too messy to pick up and eat by hand. It really wasn't stated in the ingredients, but the "Tofu" portion of the "Two ... Tacos" was a scrambled mix of tofu and possibly turmeric added to give it the appearance and colour of scrambled eggs. This also had some yellow summer (Spring?) squash in it that wasn't listed in the ingredients, but it seemed to be missing any beans (which I figured would have been black beans) in the equation. The fresh corn always gives it a bit of "pop" (Get it? "Popcorn"… "corn ~ pop"… whatever). I was glad to see that this was made with lots of chunks of avocado (at least a half of a whole avocado between the two tacos); you'd be surprised, but this is an ingredient that many places like to go "el cheapo" on for some reason. Isn't the Avocado the "National Fruit (Berry, actually) of Callie-for-nee-ya"? (And, of course, actual California avocados are much better than those alligator pears that you get from that "Sunshine State" place.)

Once again, it was a no-brainer that I went with the Excellent! Roasted Home Potatoes for my side choice (I can make a damn salad at home myself). There were only two cloves of roasted garlic in with the potatoes this morning, but one was extra large (about two and a half times the size of a normal clove) and one was a bit small (about half the size of a normal clove); so it all averaged out to about three cloves total, which is nice.

For condimentary supplements, Eats offers the complete line-up of the San Francisco Triumvirate of Hot Sauces: Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (Original Red), Cholula® Hot Sauce, and Tapatío® Salsa Picante Hot Sauce. I just went with some of my own The Wiltshire Chilli Farm Winter chilli sauce all over the potatoes and some Hell Mouth on just one of the tacos (Once again, thanks for both of those hot sauces, Greg & Cindy!).

Afterward, I walked around a bit in the Clement Street Framers Market, but I was very disappointed that I didn't see even one picture or window frame in the whole place. So I just ended up getting some fresh, baked goods from one of the stalls. I got an Apple Turnover (with pear and cardamom, and a vanilla purée) to eat as a breakfastary dessert while walking around and a Mojito[2] Vegan Doughnut to enjoy later this afternoon.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Two Tofu Tacos ~ 6.8 (and that is not a 3.4 rating for each, that is saying that both were very good); Excellent! Roasted Home Potatoes ~ 7.5; Apple Turnover ~ 6.7

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day:

The word for "peppers" in Hungarian is simply "paprika".

2. Okay, I overlooked the complete idiocy of Billy-boy and his Microsoft Spell-checkering Nazi buddies when they didn't recognize the Mexican berry "tomatillo" (or even supply a viable correct spelling option), but I draw the line when these Brown-shirted bastages refuse to recognize a great minty-limey-Rummy drink such as the "Mojito". 

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