Monday, July 4, 2016

Velo Rouge Café

Richmond (District) Coffeehouses ~ Trentième Partie

(This is the best that they have to offer as an official web-site, but it's more in the form of one of those 
'blog-things. People that write those are the worst.)

Place: Velo Rouge (Blanc et Bleu) Café
Location: 798 Arguello Boulevard (on the corner of McAllister Street)
Hours: open at 6:30am Monday through Friday; open at 8:00am Saturday and Sunday, and on some holidays (like today)
Meal: Mont Ventoux[1] Breakfast Sandwich ~ grilled egg, bacon (which I skipped, of course), and Jack cheese on an English muffin, bagel, croissant, or toast, which I upgraded with sliced avocado (a very 'merican food, I might point out); a side of grilled country (which I hope was the good ol' USofA) potatoes; and a cuppa Stumptown Coffee Holler Mountain[2]

(Do I really need to explain any EweToobular juxtaselections with today's videos? 

I only provided the two different versions of the first song because Dave Alvin wrote it, but it was originally performed by X on their 1987 album when Dave was a member of that group for a short while before venturing into his own solo career.)

I was originally planning on going back to Cinderella Russian Bakery & Café (see previous 'blog-entry from March 10th, 2012) because I thought it would be funny to get a Fourth of July breakfast at a Russian bakery[3] that was named after a French/Italian/German fairy tale. However, when I stopped by there yesterday morning to make sure that they would be open on the Fourth of July, I noticed that they now support another one of those stupid parklets in front of their establishment. It is only a one-car obstruction, but it's still an annoying hindrance. So, for now, I am giving the place a mini-boycott.

Luckily, there is always a good back-up plan and I just went back-up to Velo Rouge (Blanc et Bleu) Café 
(see last 'blog-entry from December 20th, 2014). Okay, so the real name of the joint is just Velo Rouge Café, but I am patriotically renaming it as such for today. Plus, even though they are a French café-style coffeehouse, I don't think they actually use an "é" (see, here is where an "officiel" web-site would come in handy), but I am going with it, anyway, because it just makes sense. And, I suppose, that being on the eastern side of Arguello Boulevard, this technically does not fall into the "Richmond District" area. But tough ~ my 'blog, my 'rules! I am running out of specific Richmond (District) Coffeehouses and needed to pad the books a bit, and I can really only think of two or three more coffeehouses to visit (and that includes the above-mentioned, temporarily-boycotted Rooskaya bakery) in this neighborhood.

I even saw a few actual (as opposed to impostoring) bicyclists getting caffeinated-up here before heading out this morning for an early-morning holiday bike-ride. (I have no idea if Velo Rouge (Blanc et Bleu) Café 
provides any assistance in blood-doping or steroids, though, Monsieur Armstrong.)

I like that this is a very dog-friendly place. They provide a water bowl outside for any thirsty pupsters (but they do not have any free or sell any dog biscuits; I asked). There was this one big, happy Black Lab waiting patiently for his humans to Coffee-up before a morning trip to Golden Gate Park (well, maybe not so "patiently" as he kept coming inside whenever the door was left ajar ["When is a door not a door? When a big Black Lab walks through it when it is left open?"]).

For "just a coffeehouse", their breakfastary menu is pretty decent. I am not sure what their back-kitchen looks like, but to be able to provide scrambled and grilled egg dishes, that is a major upgrade over many local cafés. On the weekends (and apparently holidays, too), they also offer Huevos Rancheros and (the misfortunately-named) Jack Johnson Banana Pancakes. And they even offer a Pizza Menu in the evenings ("Seasonal gourmet Pizzas, toppings change daily").

I purposely went with a croissant as the basis for my sandwich this morning over the English muffin choice in support of 'merican Independence, of course. This was a simple enough sandwich, but it was a lot better breakfast meal than you will ever get at Le Mickey D's Salle d'Arc-en-ciel ou Roi des Hamburgers.

Real roasted homefries at a coffeehouse?! This is almost unheard of (and for any of you Nazi grammarians out there, I know the grammatically correct sentence should read: "This is almost unheard of, moron!"). And they were pretty good too, with lots of spices and perfectly crispied.

Also for being just a local neighborhood coffeehouseVelo Rouge (Blanc et Bleu) Café had a pretty decent selection of condimentary supplementation: Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (Original Red Sauce), Tapatío® Salsa Picante Hot Sauce, Crystal® Louisiana's Pure Hot Sauce, Pico Pica® Hot Sauce, and Huy Fong Foods, Inc. Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce. Even knowing that ahead of time, I still came packing a few of my own hot sauces and used some Old St. Augustine Datil Pepper Sauce (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!) on half of the sandwich, some Dancing Dragon Cayenne Pepper Sauce (Thanks, Mom!) on the other sandwich half, and some Hot Licks® Serrano Hot Sauce (Thanks, Brian!) on the pile o' potatoes.

I have had Stumptown Coffee cuppas before and knew them to be very good. Holler Mountain is their signature organic blend, and I am pretty sure that I have had this specific blend before, too. Velo Rouge (Blanc et Bleu) Café used to exclusively offer Blue Bottle Coffee, but have since either been dumped by or dumped them. (It appears that Blue Bottle Coffee is quickly becoming the Mussolini to St*rbucks' Hitler in World Coffee Domination; I do not know who the Emperor Hirohiti would be in this analogy, though ~ besides, that would probably have to be a purveyor of teas). I think that they are really missing the perfect Coffee juxtaselection by not providing Bicycle Coffee co (it's very San Francisco-local, too), anyway.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating
Mont Ventoux Breakfast Sandwich ~ 6.4;
Stumptown Coffee Holler Mountain ~ 7.3


1. Quelle? Où?

Mont Ventoux (Frenchily pronounced somewhat as "Von-TOO"; they even have that pronunciation distinction on the blackboard menu over the counter-area) is a mountain in the Provence region of southern France. It has gained fame through its use in Le Tour de France* cycling race. It has been nicknamed the "Beast of Provence", the "Giant of Provence", or "the Bald Mountain".

*(Coincidentally enough, the 2016 Le Tour de France is currently being held from 2 July 2016 to 24 July 2016. )

2. I can't seem to locate that particular mountain on any Le Tour de France maps, though.

3. I wonder if there are any "brave bakers" working there?

(Okay, maybe only cunning Roosky linguists might get that stinky joke.)

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