Sunday, June 23, 2013

Hollywood Café

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
~ Mark Twain

(Sometimes these EweToob video links have absolutely nothing to do with the places at which I eat.)

It had been a while since I last went to Hollywood Café (see previous 'blog-entry from April 17th, 2011), so I ventured over to "no (local) man's land" for breakfast. They have their name avec accent aigu on their menu and web-site, but not on their signage for some reason.  They open at 7:00am every day and are mostly a tourista destination as it's one of the only viable places for breakfast on Fisherman's Wharf (which isn't part of one of the surrounding hotels/motels or Denny's). They have several sidewalk tables (5-6 that seat four each), but it was still pretty foggy this morning, so I opted to sit inside. However, inside the restaurant there is a strange triangular configuration which makes for a bit of a cramped atmosphere for anyone sitting near the corner or on the aisle (like I was this morning; I kept getting bumped by the servers and customers).

An "Only in San Francisco" interlude
As I had parked a few blocks away on Bay Street (where the parking is free all day long on Sundays, unlike right on North Point where there are parking meters that operate every day from 7:00am to Midnight to cheat the stupid touristas), on my way back to my car I passed a building that I had never noticed before. This condo complex actually has their own private funicular[1] to use. They could probably make some money by charging touristas to ride on it. (Hey, if it works at Buda Castle, it could work here. Besides, one-third of "funicular" is "fun".)


Hollywood Café has a pretty decent breakfastary menu and they have a few specials that are named for old Hollywoodland stars like James Dean, Clark Gable, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Vivian Leigh. This morning I had the Greek Omelette ~ spinach, tomato, olive, and Feta cheese; served with seasoned hashbrowns and toast. I also had a glass of orange juice with the meal.

The omelette had lots of fresh sautéed spinach and Feta cheese in it; however, the olives were just the plain ol', flavourless black ones from a can. The hashbrowns were excellent ~ prepared extra thin for maximum crispiness on both sides. The toast was sliced sourdough, which I thought was very cool; the tourista lady sitting next to me wasn't as impressed, apparently: "I guess that's their version of toast." This was served as five (ha!) slices, too, which I thought was rather odd (if it were four slices, I would have thought it rather "even", of course). For some reason, there was also five slices of orange as a garnish; maybe the owners are Thai (haha!). It really didn't matter, though, as I still ate all of them, along with the quintet of toast slices. The portions are HUGE here; I think it says the omelettes are made with three eggs, but I bet there were easily four or five (hahaha!) eggs used.

Hollywood Café has as condimentary supplements Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (both the standard red and the green jalapeño) and Cholula® Hot Sauce, which is not that bad of a selection. I used some of my own Mama Africa's Zulu Sauces Chilli Mint (Thanks, Kerry!) on the hashbrowns and some Serious Food… Silly Prices Sweet Heat Hot Sauce (Thanks, Greg & Cindy!) on the omelette. Plus, they have Morton® salt and pepper grinders on every table; I made sure to use the pepper grinder to maximum effect.

Stupid drivers rant interlude
Why do some people think that "No Left Turn" signs don't apply to them? I actually saw two idiots ignore these signs this morning alone, and one was to cross three lanes on a busy Geary Boulevard. Now, I don't wish harm on any living thing, but just once I would like to see them die horribly in a fiery ball of tangled metal, but painlessly, of course. That would teach the bastages; I bet they would never try that again!

Note: No frogs (or touristas or stupid egocentric drivers) were actually harmed during the writing of this 'blog-entry.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Greek Omelette ~ 6.5

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day:

"Funicular" comes from Latin "funiculus", which is a diminutive of "funis" meaning "cord, rope".

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