Sunday, June 9, 2013

the Creamery

I am definitely no Hipster… but I have been confused for a Doofus many times.

(Sure I could have linked a Cream or an Eric Clapton EweToob video, but I didn't feel like it; besides, I am still waiting for their new album to come out.

The first song is just 'cause I like this cover version of the Band's old song. The second song is because Mayer Hawthorne was in town yesterday playing at a free festival in Golden Gate Park; I didn't go to it, but I probably should have as it was held only about eight blocks away. FYI, that Hipster Doofus on organ is none other that Booker T. Jones his-hipstery-bad-self.)

Here is why you should never believe everything you read on the Intro-Net, the Creamery seems to have reviews all over the place, both good and bad, on yelp*. I only mention this as I had to refer to that site to find out when the Creamery opened in the mornings and happened to check out a few of the most recent posts. Do your own research, everyone, don't take the word of complete strangers on the World Wild Web, even if their last name happens to be "Snopes". I think that they open at either 6:30am, 7:00am, or 7:30am daily, which is plenty early enough for this Doofus (though, they do call their weekend early morning menu "Brunch").

Marketing mini-rant of the day
The Creamery's official web-site really doesn't specify what their hours are. Seriously?! What is up with that?! C'mon, people, if you go to all the trouble to have a company web-site, at least have the decency to post your hours of operation. Maybe Hipster Doofi[1] don't care about owning a watch (unless it is a retro Timex or something), but most normal Doofi would like to know. (That is all.)

There used to be an actual creamery located in this same building years ago when I first moved to San Francisco (hence, the Creamery moniker, nu?). It is located on the corner of 4th and Townsend Streets (confirmed by both their official web-site and yelp*; I didn't feel it necessary to check with, and just two (long) blocks away from AT&T Park, home of your World Champion San Francisco Giants. In addition to a pretty decent-sized coffehouse area, they have a large triangular fenced-in sidewalk patio seating area. Plus, they must have some kind of relationship with the taqueria next door (the Iron Cactus), which has a much larger seating area to it, as they have an adjoining door and have a sign directing people there if there is no room in the coffehouse space.

This early in the morning, the only other Doofi in the place were a few local street people asking to use the bathroom and some travelers catching a bite to eat while waiting for a train (the Caltrain Station is kitty-corner to this place). Like most coffeehouses, you order and pay first at the counter and they bring the food out to you when it is ready. Their standard breakfast menu has several savoury and sweet crêpes from which to choose; I was thinking about getting the Eggs Florentine Crêpe, which sounded very good. They also have a "Brunch" menu that includes a few Baseball named omelettes (due to it's proximity to the ballpark, I assume) and other specials. In honour of Justin Pedroier and athletic midgets everywhere, I ordered the 2nd Base Omelet ~ olives, spinach, red peppers, and Feta. I also had a decent enough cuppa coffee; however, I never really asked what brand it was (and I am not going to do another rant on the lack of information on their official web-site).

This turned out to be another good version of a Greek omelette. (Can you say "Μπέιζμπολ ομιλείται εδώ."?) They get extra points as this was made with real Kalamata olives. This also included sautéed white onions that they didn't list on the menu. This was a very good omelette (especially because of the inclusion of the sliced Kalamata olives and lots of fresh sautéed spinach), but I would have liked a bit more Feta in it, though.

It looked like the Creamery only had Tapatío® as condimentary supplements. I really wasn't expecting much more and used some of my own Palo Alto Firefighters Pepper Sauce ~ XX Habanero (Thanks agains, Amys and Brian!) on the potatoes, and to keep with the whole Baseball-y theme I used a little ("a little" goes a long way with this one; while it doesn't include any of that nasty extract of capsaicin ~ see yesterday's 'blog-entry for a reference ~ it is made with both habanero chillies and Naga Jolokia chillies, two of the hottest little berries out there) Big Papi En Fuego Hot Sauce Off the Wall Triple Hot (Thanks, Kerry!) on the omelette.

Now, I wasn't accosted by any Hipster Doofi in porkpie hats or cravats[2] the whole time I was there, but I could swear the guy working behind the counter con el puro cubano was Cosmo Kramer.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: 2nd Base Omelet ~ 6.7

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, numerus unus:

I have decided that the plural of "Doofus" is going to be "Doofi", like with "octopus" and "hippopotamus". If you have a problem with that, take it up with the Latini populi.

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-sartorial pointer of the day, numéro deux/broj dva:

"Cravat" derives from the French "cravate", a corrupt French pronunciation of "Croate"; so called because these neckpieces were worn by Croatian mercenaries in the French army during the Thirty Years' War, 1618-1648.

So, I guess the first real Hipster Doofi were from the Adriatic coast.


  1. Hours

    Sunday 6:30AM - 9:00PM
    Monday 6:30AM - 9:00PM
    Tuesday 6:30AM - 9:00PM
    Wednesday 6:30AM - 9:00PM
    Thursday 6:30AM - 9:00PM
    Friday 7:00AM - 9:00PM
    Saturday 7:00AM - 9:00PM

    Yeah, doofus definitely applies.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. If you are referring to the times taken from the "Menu" portion, that isn't actually their web-site; that is a link to another service (Snapfinger) that doesn't even have the correctly updated prices for any of their items.

      So, no, they are still have a Doofus official web-site that does not reference anywhere their business hours on it.

  2. Figures that my brother Sean would defend other Hipster Doofi...