Saturday, February 27, 2016

Squat & Gobble Cafe & Crepery

Place: Squat & Gobble Cafe & Crepery
Location: 1 West Portal Avenue (on the corner of Ulloa Street)
Hours: open seven days a week (I think that includes Saturday and Sunday) at 8:00am
Meal: Veggie Fajita Crepe (a Savory Crepe) ~ caramelized peppers, onions, mushrooms, roasted corn, cilantro, black beans, jalapeno [ sic ] sour cream and pepper Jack cheese, topped with homemade (well, crêperie-made) ranchero and tomatillo sauces and crispy tortilla strips (served with your choice of our "famous" rosemary garlic potatoes, French fries, mixed green salad, fresh fruit, or chef's soup of the day); a large glassa fresh-squeezed (or whatever you call made with one of those the Jetsons automated orange juice-making contraptions) orange juice; and, afterward, a medium cuppa Equator Coffees & Teas Mocha Java at Greenhouse Cafe

329 West Portal Avenue
phonicular contact: (415) 742-5545
(No official web-site thing.)

(Now what are the odds that someone else had a 
Bettys bag?)

(File under: Never Judge a Book By Its Cover 
[no matter how large the cover may be] File

Of course, the question isn't how did such a big guy have such a soft and beautiful voice, the question is how the heck did he play the ukulele with such big paws?

I am pretty sure that I have already linked either or both of these Bruddah Iz songs [at least] once already here. If you don't like them, tough! Start your own 'damn 'blog-thing!

"But, Brian, why did you post 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' twice today?"

While I was sitting enjoying my cuppa at Greenhouse Cafe, they played the song twice on the [green]house stereo in about a twenty-minute [or less] span, and I figured I would just duplicate duplicate it here.)

As it was time to schedule another eye exam (with my optometrist, Dr. Karen See ["care and see"?] ~ seriously, you can't make this stuff up), I decided I might as well also have breakfast this morning in the same neighborhood (which, in this case, happens to be West Portal) and went back to Squat & Gobble 
Cafe & Crepery (see last 'blog-entry from July 26th, 2014). I am calling this location their flagship restaurant because it is the newest (the building has only been around for two years now) and largest (with two floors of seating). The (original?) Squat & Gobble 
Cafe & Crepery in the Lower Haight (on Fillmore Street) seems to have been closed since Summer or Fall 2015. This just leaves this West Portal location along with the Marina District (on Chestnut Street) and Castro (on 16th Street) locations.

West Portal really is a great little neighborhood with several good places to eat for breakfast. However, I noticed today that the long-running, family-owned restaurant, Manor Coffee Shop, (see 'blog-entry from November 12th, 2011) has closed, but is being remodeled to re-open under new ownership (to now be called simply the Manor).

Squat & Gobble Cafe & Crepery doesn't just offer crêpes on their menu, they also have several other good sections from which to choose for breakfast (and lunch or dinner). Some of the other offerings which I was looking at ("... at which I was looking", whatever): Mama Mia (also off the Savory Crepe section; Mozzarella, Parmesan and cottage cheese, onions, mushrooms, spinach, eggplant, and tomatoes, topped with marinara sauce [please note, this is made with two kinds of botanical berries ~ eggplant and tomato]; I have had this before and know it is very good and this was going to be my original choice this morning until I waffled [or is that crêped] and went with the choice I did; and Beelzebub doesn't even have to have a devil put aside for me... for meeeee... for this one); Whole Thing (off the Dessert Crepes section; fresh bananas, walnuts, brown sugar, and cinnamon, topped with nutella® and powdered sugar; served with your choice of vanilla bean Ice Cream or whipped cream; oh, yeah, Ice Cream for breakfast!); Tropical Island (also off the Dessert Crepes section; fresh pineapple, papaya, banana, shredded coconuts, brown sugar, caramel sauce, candied walnuts, topped with pineapple papaya sauce; if I had been in the mood for a "sweet" breakfastary repast, this would definitely have been my choice); Santa Fe Scramble (off the Scramblers section; pepper Jack cheese, mushrooms, peppers, onions, black beans, corn, and avocado, topped with tomatillo salsa, jalapeno [ sic, again ] sour cream, crispy tortilla strips and cilantro; this was basically a scrambled eggs version of the crêpe I had); Castro Omelette (off the Omelettes section; Feta cheese, tomatoes, spinach, and Kalamata olives); or Mee Goreng (off the Wok Kitchen section; sauteed cabbage, tomatoes, onions, potatoes, tofu, garlic, ginger, giant Shanghai noodles, spicy Sriracha fish sauce [which would have been แปดสิบหก-ed... 555!] and crispy onion strings; I am not sure how that would go as a breakfast meal, though).

All of the crêpes that I have had at Squat & Gobble 
Cafe & Crepery have always been very good. I liked this one because it had a very good salsa de tomatillo and the jalapeño sour cream-thing added a nice bit of flavour, too. Plus, the crispy tortilla strips added a nice crunch to the whole thing. Of course, I ordered my crêpe with the side choice of their "famous" rosemary garlic potatoes (Pfffft! What kinda idiot would order the salad or fruit option?!); plus, there was a large portion of them, too.

The Coffee at Greenhouse Cafe was made à la mode de presse française. They only offered the one roast/blend today, and I am not sure if they ever have any other choices. I have had Equator Coffees & Teas many times before and they are generally very good. 

Squat & Gobble Cafe & Crepery had for condimentary supplementation Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (both Original Red Sauce and Green Jalapeño Pepper Sauce) and Tapatío® Salsa Picante Hot Sauce. I used a good amount of my own Sunbelt Plantations Vidalia® Onion Picante Hot Sauce 
(Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the potatoes and just a skosh of El Yucateco® XXXtra Hot Sauce 
Salsa Kutbil-ik® de Chile Habanero (Thanks, Brian!) on the crêpe (which turned out being a bit superfluous and masked some of the nice flavours of the salsas already on it).

This is just being nitpickery (or nitpickerie), but Squat & Gobble Cafe & Crepery do not use the "ê" in either the spelling of their name, nor in the crêpes section listed on their menu; and, additionally, the word should actually be spelled "Crêperie", not "Crepery". (Why do people think it is necessary to come up with completely madeuppery words?) Do not worry, no 
Glen Bacon Scale Rating points are ever deducted for spelling (or translational) êrrors. (Of course, this doesn't even take into consideration the entirely creepy and coprophagia image-conjuring rest of their name: "Squat & Gobble".)

Conclusion: Once again, good food ~ horrible name!

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Vêggîê Fâjîtâ Crepê ~ 6.7; Equator Coffees & Teas Mocha Java ~ 6.8

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