café bean

Bacon Warming?[1]

http://www.cafebeansf.com/

(That is supposed to be their official web-site, but I can't seem to get it to work. I suppose it is either a new one that hasn't been set up yet or an older one that is no longer valid. Whatever. Their phonicular contact is: 415-928-0888.)


Place: café bean
Location: 800 Sutter Street (on the corner of Jones Street)
Hours: (unconfirmed, but from a few other Intro-Net sources) open at 7:00am every day of the week (plus, they were just setting up the sidewalk tables when I had arrived there around 7:20am this morning)
Meal: Cinnamon Apple[2] Dutch Pancake[3] and two eggs over-medium; and a very decent cuppa coffee 

(The first EweToob video just goes to prove that back in 1979 Debbie Harry could even make a potato sack look good.)


Voor het ontbijt ik naar café bean. This is a little neighborhoody Dutch-style café located in lower Nob Hill or the upper Tenderloin (it all depends on your point of view, or how you like to point your nose). I like that they officially spell their name with "café" (avec accent aigu). But why is it not koffiehuis boon, though? Ik weet het niet.

In the middle of the space, there is just one main large, communal table that can seat eight people. There are four window-counter seats (where I chose to sit even though they were basically empty when I had arrived). There are two more tables in the corner window area with cushions that seat five people total. There are also four sidewalk two-seater tables when the weather allows it (today allowed it).

For being just a smallish, corner café (of koffiehuis), they actually have a pretty sufficient menu. They only offer the Dutch Pancakes on the weekends, but they have around fourteen different options (fourteen of the same options wouldn't really be much to speak about). There were several omelettes that looked good, too: Rembrandt (ham, mushroom, olive spread, and cheese); De Groot (pork sausage and spinach); Van Gogh (bell pepper, onion, avocado, and cream cheese); De Vries (egg white, tofu, bell pepper, onion, and tomato); and a few others. There were also several items on a daily/weekend specials chalkboard. The only thing that I can think to complain about is that there are no breakfastary potato side dishes of any kind on the menu.

This version of a Dutch Pancake was sort of a thicker crêpe batter and about the size of the entire plate. It had lots of cinnamon, sugar, and sliced apples on top. It was unlike the oven-baked version I had at Outerlands (see 'blog-entry from April 15th, 2012), but it was still very good. (Of course, café bean doesn't have any stupid parklets associated with it; so it all evens out in my book, of boek.) I wonder if this would be a good meal to order on a first date and you are a cheapskate and didn't plan on also paying for the woman's meal (I am sure you could also plan on not getting a second date with the woman).

I never found out what the actual brand of coffee was that they serve, but it was a Dark French Roast. It had the name "Chester's" on the thermos, but the lady behind the counter said that wasn't the name of the coffee roastery, it was just the name that the owner had given it. Who names their thermoses?!

As there were no potato side dishes, I didn't bother to ask what café bean had for condimentary supplementation. I did use some of my own Palo Alto Firefighters Pepper Sauce (Thanks agains, Amys and Brian.) on the eggs. The pancake didn't really need any spicing up and I just used some of the maple syrup that was provided. (Okay. I confess. I did use just the smallest amount of my Youk's Hot Sauce ~ Thanks, Kevin! ~ on a portion of the pancake. And I am not ashamed to say, it really wasn't half-bad. Of course, I suppose, that just means it really wasn't half-good either.)


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Cinnamon Apple Dutch Pancake ~ 6.6


1. This is not a reference to Glen of the eponymous Scale Rating above. This (especially ironic for me) phrase came about when I awoke this morning at 3:00am and just couldn't get back to sleep. For some reason, the idea popped into my head to do anagrams of my name. Here are some (telling in places) examples:

"A Narcing Womb"
"Banan Cow Grim"
"Baring Cowman"
"Barman Cowing"
"Bang Warm Icon"
"Bowman Arcing"
"Brag Manic Now"
"Cab Warming On"
"Comb A Warning"
"Crab Win Mango"
"Macaw Born Gin"
"Manna Big Crow"
"Wanna Brim Cog"

If you would like to try with your own names, check out this web-site (Ain't the World Wild Webs fun?):

http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." ~ Mitch Hedberg

"I thought I had insomnia once; but then I woke up and realized it was just a bad dream... ironically, I could not get back to sleep for hours after that." ~ Steven Wright

"I am only truly awake when I am sleeping." ~ Mr. Bean

Of course, I'll probably be two hours off all day now. Maybe I shoulda got the Denver Omelette for breakfast to even it all out…

2. The stuff you learn when you are just minding your own business.

One time I was walking through the San Francisco Botanical Garden and happened to see the botanical name for a crab apple tree (they have a lot of the plants and trees labeled for all of the Latin botanist wannabes out there apparently). The crab apple is in the Genus: Malus and in the Family: Rosaceae. Rosaceae is just another name for "the rose family". I never knew that apples were in that same family. If you weren't aware of that simple fact either, now you have also learned something new today.

In addition to apples, the Family Rosaceae includes many other edible fruits, such as: pears, quinces, peaches, apricots, plums, cherries (which are not true botanical berries, by the way), strawberries (also not botanical berries), and raspberries (another not-botanical berry). Almonds are also in this same Family.

And just because I felt like it, here is stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, number one:

Albanian ~ "mollë"
Bosnian/Croatian ~ "jabuka"
Catalan ~ "poma"
Czech/Slovak ~ "jablko"
Danish ~ "æble"
Dutch ~ "appel"
Esperanto ~ "pomon"
Estonian ~ "õun"
Filipino ~ "mansanas" 
Finish ~ "omena"
French ~ "pomme"
German ~ "Apfel"
Greek ~ "μήλο"
Haitian Creole ~ "pòm"
Hungarian ~ "alma"
Icelandic ~ "epli"
Indonesian ~ "apel"
Irish ~ "úll"
Italian ~ "mela"
Latin ~ "malum" or "pomum"
Latvian ~ "ābols"
Lithuanian ~ "obuolys"
Norwegian ~ "eple"
Polish ~ "jabłko"
Portuguese ~ "maçã"
Russian ~ "яблоко"
Serbian ~ "јабука"
Slovenian ~ "jabolko"
Spanish ~ "manzana"
Swedish ~ "äpple"
Turkish ~ "elma"
Vietnamese ~ "táo"
Welsh ~ "afal"

"An apple by any other name would taste as tart…"

"So, how do you like them rose fruits?!"

3. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, nummer twee:

"Pancakes" in Dutch is either "pannenkoeken" or "pannekoeken". "Apple" is "appel" (see above), "cinnamon" is "kaneel", and "sugar" is "suiker".

Zazie

Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs.[1]

http://zaziesf.com/


Place: Zazie
Location: 941 Cole Street (between Carl Street and Parnassus Avenue)
Hours: "Brunch" is served on Saturday and Sunday from 9:00am to 3:00pm (however, it is good to note that they call basically the same meal "Breakfast" Monday through Friday and are open an hour earlier at 8:00am)
Meal: Eggs en la Marais[2] ~ savory challah bread pudding w/wild mushrooms, arugula[3], thyme, goat cheese, and two over easy eggs baked in a cast iron skillet, w/salad or homefries; and a cuppa LaCoppa[4] Coffee Organic French Roast (o Caffè ou Café ~ now would be an okay time to use either of these words con un accento grave, ou avec accent aigu aussi) 

(This wasn't going to be my first choice for a EweToob-ular link. I first had the idea to use Louis Jordan's "Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens" and then I had a better idea to use Lightin' Hopkins' "Meet Me At The Chicken Shack", but I couldn't locate that particular song/video. As is usually the case with EweToob, Norah Jones' name popped up on a list of other songs along the right column, so I just decided to use one of her songs instead.)


Je suis retourné à Zazie (see last 'blog-entry from October 14th, 2012) pour mon petit déjeuner. Mais qui est "Zazie"? One of these days I really should ask them if one of the owners is actually named "Zazie" or if they just named the restaurant after the main character in a 1960's Louis Malle movie (from an earlier French novel of the same name). It was a little too cold and damp still this morning to sit outside either in one of the two sidewalk tables or out back in their large backyard patio area (which is usually my preferred spot). I happened to notice that Zazie sells bags of both their Gingerbread and Buttermilk pancake batter mixes if anyone wants to make them at home (I doubt they would allow you to purchase the bags and let you make them in their own professional kitchen, though).

My meal this morning was off their "Brunch" specials menu. Seeing as they are "a French bistro in the heart of Cole Valley" (it is stated as such right on their menu and web-site), je ne sait pas why this dish wasn't called "Oeufs en Le Marais". Take heart, no Glen Bacon Scale Rating points are ever taken off due to confusing linguistics, though. Also off the seasonal "Brunch" specials menu, Miracle Pancakes (1, 2, or 3 sugar pie pumpkin spice pancakes w/ fresh whipped cream) sounded very good. A few other good ideas off the standard "Brunch" menu that are options for another return trip: Fontainbleau[5] (scrambled eggs with portobellos, shiitake, porcinis, spinach, and Fontina), or Italie (scrambled eggs with tomatoes provencales, cream cheese, and basil ~ they probably should have had this as "tomates provençales", but, again, no GBS points are deducted for not keeping with a Frenchy theme).

This was another very good recent find (even if it is only a seasonal special). I really had no idea what to expect from the description on the menu, but this ended up being very interesting and tasty. It was basically two eggs over easy (or "over easy eggs" ~ damnés Français!) placed on top of a bread pudding made in a small round cast iron skillet. It all worked nicely for me; sort of a baked Eggs Benedict dish (simplement sans sauce hollandaise stupide). There were three cloves of roasted garlic (trois gousses d’ail rôti) in with the homefries this morning ~ always a good thing.

The LaCoppa Coffee Organic French Roast was very good, too. They are a local coffee roaster in Marin and used to have a few coffee shops (o caffès ou cafés). From what I can discern, they have sold off all of their coffee shops now, but are keeping the roastery for wholesale coffee. This is a shame as I had been to their flagship coffee shop in downtown Mill Valley a few times and really liked the place. 

http://www.lacoppacoffee.com/

Upon request, Zazie has for condimentary supplements Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (the standard red only). I used some of my own Dave's Gourmet® Ginger Peach Hot Sauce (Thanks, Jim!) on top of the eggs and some Florida Gold Salsa Picanté[6] Premium Habanero Hot Sauce (Thanks, Kerry!) on the homefries. The Ginger Peach Hot Sauce went very nicely with the bread pudding as it had its own elements of savoury and sweet.

The Wild Parrots of San Francisco Interlude of the Day
Before breakfast I heard probably 6-10 of the noisy little buggers flying around the neighborhood, but didn't see any of them until afterward while walking around Richard Gamble Memorial Park (at the West Portal of the N-Judah MUNI line). I then saw a semi-large pandemonium of parrots (at least 20-30) flying southward (probably towards Twin Peaks). I wonder if they roost in this small park. There are several tall trees that they could call home. 


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Eggs (ou Oeufs) en le Marais ~ 7.1; LaCoppa Coffee (o Caffè ou Café) ~ 6.8


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, номер один:

This old saying in Russian would roughly be: "Яйца курицу не учат.", which literally means: "The eggs do not teach the chicken." 

I only know this as I came across it many years ago in my copy of Smirnitsky (the standard Russian-English dictionary that was used throughout the Military at the time) while I was still taking Basic Russian at the Defense Language Institute at the Presidio of Monterey, and not really being familiar with the English saying, it stuck with me. 

This knowledge came in very handy a few years later when I completely amazed one of my co-workers, John Kurovsky ("long 'o', no 'v'…"), during a Mids Скрэббл® game session at the 6916th. (See, I was his supervisor and trainer at the time and we were supposed to be doing actual work and studying, but there was usually nothing much to do for us. So I brought in my Russian version of Scrabble® to play with to pass the time on boring Mids shifts. Yeah, it pissed off the Hebrew and Arab linguists some, but I just claimed we were utilizing our vocabulary. I am not saying they actually bought any of that хуй, but they usually left us alone after that.) Anyway, during one heated game, John had challenged my spelling on "egg" or "eggs" (silly boy) and looked it up in our Russian-English dictionary at work. He saw the saying "Яйца курицу не учат." in the entry and read it out loud, and I told him that just meant colloquially: "Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs." He was absolutely flabbergasted and truly couldn't believe that I even knew that. Of course, he never challenged any of my words or spelling/grammar thereafter.

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, numéro deux:

"Le Marais" means "the swamp" or "the marsh" in French. Le Marais is also a historic district in Paris. 

Now was this dish meant to mean "Eggs (I still can't believe they didn't use "Oeufs") in the swamp" or "Eggs in the mode of a historic district of Paris"?

3. Herr Gates and his stupid Spell-checker Nazis at Microsoft do not recognize this as a valid word. Really, Billy-boy?! You guys need to get out of die verdammten Bierhallen and go out to eat more often.

4. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, numero tre:

"La Coppa" means "the cup" in Italian. What that has anything to do with coffee (o caffè ou café), I will never know.

5. Not really a stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer, but more of just a stupid, useless geographical/historical pointer:

This should be "Fontainebleau" not "Fontainbleau". Again, no GBS points are ever taken off for any mispelded werds.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontainebleau

6. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, número cuatro:

I am pretty sure that "Picante" should be sin acento agudo. "Picante", meaning "hot, spicy" in Spanish, is the past participle of "picar", meaning "to prick, bite". (see also: "pique" and "piquant", Jean-Luc)

Caffé DeLucchi

"Coffee, which makes the politician wise,
And see through all things with his half-shut eyes."
~ Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock, Canto iii, Line 117

http://www.caffedelucchi.com/


Place: Caffé DeLucchi (or Caffé Delucchi, or Caffe DeLucchi, or Caffe Delucchi, or Café DeLucchi, or Café Delucchi ~ take your pick; either way it was all very good)
Location: 500 Columbus Avenue (or 500 Corso Cristòforo Colombo; on the corner of Stockton Street)
Hours: Breakfast served Monday through Friday from 10am to 4pm; Saturday and Sunday from 8am to 2pm
Meal: artichoke hash benedict (poached eggs over artichoke hash with sliced tomatoes, hollandaise sauce, polenta[1], and toast); and a cuppa coffee (or caffè, just not caffé or café)

(I couldn't locate any good Veterans Day/Remembrance Day/Armistice Day songs in honour of tomorrow, so this will have to do. I suppose I could have linked the Beatles "Birthday" in honour of the United States Marine Corps 238th Birthday today; I will just say a quick "Oo-rah!" and "Semper Fi!" instead.

Sorry, Mrs. Morin, I couldn't figure out a good way to incorporate "chevron"[2] into today's 'blog-entry. Oops, looks like I just did!)


There aren't really that many good early morning breakfast places in North Beach, but I just discovered another great one (or is it several?): Caffé DeLucchi (or Caffé Delucchi, or Caffe Delucchi, or Café DeLucchi). I am not making fun of the spelling ~ well, not much. It is just that their web-site (or is that "wéb-sité"), their business cards, and the large sign on the corner all have it as "Caffé DeLucchi" (or "Caffe Delucchi"), but a few of the window signs also have it as "Café DeLucchi". For simplicity purposes, I am going with "Caffé DeLucchi" from here on out (or in). This place is a very good alternative breakfastary option if Mama♥s on Washington Square is ever really busy (or just on its own merits from what I found out this morning).

Now this is not really a stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer, but I sometimes wonder why the word "Caffé" (con un accento acuto) ~ or sometimes even the French "Café" (avec un accent aigu aussi) ~ is used by un ristorante italiano. (See also: Caffé Roma four doors down; where there is also a stupid parklet in front of it ~ not in front of Rose Pistola as I had incorrectly mentioned in a past 'blog-entry. Sorry about that, Rose, you are no longer on my list, but Caffé Roma now is!) The correct word in italiano should be "Caffè" (con un accento grave), which is the actual word for both "coffee" (the drink) and "café" (the place to eat small meals and to actually drink caffè). (Don't ask me the Italian words for "bistro" or "tea", though.)

I asked one of the "friendly, knowledgeable and attentive staff" (it says so right on their web-site, but that could mean "friéndly, knowlédgéablé and atténtivé staff" for all I know) members, Ray (or is that "Réy"?), and he explained that the differences in "Caffé" and "Café" on their signage might have something to do with when they first got their web domain, there may have already been a "Café DeLucchi" (or "Café Delucchi") being used. It's all too confusing for me, and they could call themselves "Cafféè DéèLucchi" as long as the food remains as interesting and tasty as the meal I had this morning. (And, for a change, I actually got the name of one of my servers; he introduced himself at the start, but I still had to rememorize[3] it.)

I had eaten at Caffé DeLucchi a few times before for lunch or dinner (the gnocchi[4] piemontese is excellent, by the way), but this was the first time I ever had mia colazione there. I like that they are open at 8:00am on the weekends (and that it is for "breakfast", not "Brunch"). It isn't a very large place (it is triangulated due to the building being right on the corner of a sharp building) with inside seating for about thirty-four people; plus another five stools at the bar/counter. There are also five 4-seater tables along the Columbus Street sidewalk. While it was actually nice enough to eat outside this morning (as long as I kept my coat on), I decided to eat inside all the same. The restaurant was completely empty when I first got there (five to ten minutes after they had opened), but it filled up very quickly and there was a small line out the door by the time I had finished eating. I also liked their copper tabletops; you can see the ghosts of water glasses past all over them.

There were a few other interesting-sounding breakfastary items: mushroom spinach pizza (mixed mushrooms, spinach, mozzarella cheese and sunny eggs); polenta gorgonzola (warm soft polenta topped with melted gorgonzola, clover honey, thick cut applewood smoked bacon and poached eggs); or elvis in north beach! (housemade peanut butter, applewood smoked bacon, fig jam and bananas on a toasted ciabatta roll with house potatoes). After Ray had assured me the "artichoke hash" was indeed vegetarian (not Vegan, sorry), I knew that was going to be my choice. I will definitely get back again one of these days to try some of these other dishes. 

This meal is a little hard to explain, but it was simply "Magnifico!" (Sorry, I don't know how to say that in italiano, though). I would have to rate this dish as my "Most Interesting (New) Find of 2013". The hash was made with diced artichoke hearts that are breaded and mixed with tiny bits of carrot and then it is all crisped up (either in the oven or in a pan ~ I didn't want to bother Ray yet again). The two poached eggs are then placed on top of some tomato slices on top of a pile of the hash, and then the Hollandaise sauce is added on top. This was great for originality alone ~ shades of Chayote Benedict at Q Restaurant and Wine Bar (see 'blog-entry from July 21st, 2010) or Dottie's True blue café Zucchini Cakes (see last 'blog-entry from August 25th, 2013); and that it included artichokes ~ one of my favourite fruits ~ was just an extra added bonus. If I were to have one minor quibble (un piccolo cavillo), it would be that maybe the tomato slices might have been just a shade thinner.

And, take note, Mrs. Huneycutt, there was no potato side dish this morning ~ "polenta" is just italiano for "greets".

The toast was either sourdough or Italian bread. 

I am not sure what the brand of coffee (caffè) was, but it was very good; I couldn't find any mention of the brand on their web-site (I just hope it's not from Caffé Roma).

Caffé DeLucchi offers for condimentary supplements a trio (which is, strangely enough, the same word in italiano) of Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauces: the standard red, green jalapeño, and Chipotle (just not Chipotlè or Chipotlé). I used a fair amount of the Chipotle with the polenta (corn and chipotle are always a great combination). I also used some of my own El Yucateco® XXXtra Hot Sauce Salsa Kutbil-ik® de Chile Habanero (Thanks, Brian!) on top of the eggs to mix in with the Hollandaise sauce (just to add a bit of extra flavour).

I was happy as a monkey in a monkey-tree this morning with my meal; however, I didn't notice any sweet watermelon or buckwheat cakes on the menu, Mr. Néwman.


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: artichoke hash benedict ~ 7.6


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer of the day, numero uno:

"Polenta" is of Italian origin, derived from the Latin for hulled and crushed grain (especially barley-meal). It comes from the same base as "pollen".

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, number two:

"Chevron" comes from Middle English "cheveroun", from Old French (meaning "rafter, chevron"), from Vulgar Latin "caprion-" (stem of "caprio-"), derivative of Latin "caper" ("goat"). The likely connection between goats and rafters being the animal's angular hind legs."

(See also: "chèvre"*, "Capricorn", and "caper".)

*(Mais oui, avec accent grave.)

3. I thought I was making up this word, aber Billy und die Microsoft Spell-Check Nazis actually accept this as a valid word. 

4. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer of the day, numero tre:

"Gnocchi" is the plural of "gnocco" and it may derive from the Italian word "nocchio" (meaning a "knot in wood") or from "nocca" (meaning "knuckle").

Golden River ~ Dim Sum & Seafood Restaurant

"For her own breakfast she'll project a scheme,
Nor take her tea without a stratagem." 
~ Edward Young, Love of Fame

http://www.goldenriversf.com/


Place: Golden River ~ Dim Sum & Seafood Restaurant
Location: 5827 Geary Boulevard (Between 22nd and 23rd Avenues)
Hours: open Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at 9:00am; Tuesday at 10:00am; and Saturday and Sunday at 8:00am
Meal: Salty Egg Yolk Pumpkin; Green Onion Cake (1); Vegetarian Rice Crepe Roll (4); Egg Custard (3); and a pot of loose-leaf jasmine tea

(I suppose I could have gone with the Beatles original version, but I think I may have used that EweToob video before, as it's one of my favourites of theirs. I just thought this was a pretty decent cover.

Strangely enough, David Boney's "Golden Years" was actually playing on my XM Radio when I first turned it on while typing out this 'blog-entry, but that song just seemed too anti-Italiano to me what with all the insulting references to "Wop, Wop, Wop, Wop" and such. I can't prove it, but I am pretty sure that "Space Oddity" is really an anti-Semitic paean, too.)


For a change of place, I decided to try something different this morning for breakfast. I just recently noticed that Golden River is open for breakfast. I have eaten there a few times before for lunch or dinner, but was not aware that they were even open for breakfast or I would have included them in my "Breakfast on Geary" series (see last 'blog-entry from May 20th, 2012). I like that they are open early enough on the weekends, and for breakfast, not "Brunch" either. I don't know how to say "Brunch" in Chinese (not that I know how to say "breakfast" either), and would probably ask for the wrong thing, anyway.[1]

I like that they are located close enough to my apartment that I can walk there and back ~ just ten blocks away, downhill (but ten blocks uphill on the way home). There are five large round tables for ten (with a large lazy susan in the middle of each for fun, family-style sharing), and ten tables for four people (groups under five need to fend for themselves, though, as there are no cool lazy susans on the smaller tables). There are also a few large aquariums on the back wall with live fish and lobsters in them ~ provided as entertainment for the kiddies from what I observed.

I can't pretend to even guess at what a typical Chinese breakfast might include, but there were several things on the menu that I decided qualified as breakfastary ~ anything with "egg" or "pancake" in its name would do for me. I was surprised to find out that the Pan Fried Turnip Cake was not vegetarian. (Why is that? Apparently, they include "just a little meat". Really?!) There were also a few puddings available if necessary: Mango Pudding, Green Tea Pudding, Logan (which I am pretty sure is supposed to be "Longan") & Goji Berry Pudding. I didn't notice until I had already ordered these two other items: Garlic Pea Sprouts or Pea Sprouts Dumpling; I probably would have gotten one of those ~ pea sprouts/shoots/greens are one of my favourite leafy greens. And for those of you that ingest the dead, decaying animal flesh (and are a little adventurous) there is always: Snake Soup, Jelly Fish Salad, or Steamed Chicken Feet Black Bean Sauce. Anyone?!

The first dish to come out was the Salty Egg Yolk Pumpkin. I had no idea what this was going to be, but I like pumpkin and figured as long as it's vegetarian (which I confirmed on all my other items ordered, too), I would try it. This was just some egg (yolk)-battered deep fried pumpkin (well, it was probably Kabocha squash) cut into pieces about the size of large French fries. It was okay, but I think it could have used some kind of sauce (other than just soy[2] sauce) or dip to go with it. I have some left over and will reheat it later and try it with some of my own hot sauces.

Next out were the Green Onion Pancakes and the Vegetarian Rice Crepe Roll. I always like green onion pancakes, and these were a good version. I was not sure what a Rice Crepe Roll was going to be, but I liked it a lot. The "rice crepe" part of the roll turned out to be the same stuff that Chow Fun noodles are made from; so, more chewy than a standard crêpe would be. The rolls were filled with (at least) two types of mushrooms, carrots, and celery, and had a light soy-based sauce already on them. I was just a little disappointed that there was no maple syrup offered to go with the pancake.

Lastly were the Egg Custard cups. These were slightly-sweetened egg custard tartlets. They were very hot and fresh out of the oven when they brought them to the table (and I know this as I burned my tongue on the first two I ate ~ yeah, I could have let the second one cool off a bit before trying it, too, but what is the fun in that?).

For condimentary supplementation, Golden River has soy sauce (of course) on all the tables. I didn't ask for any other forms of hot sauces or such. I suppose, like most local Asian restaurants, that they also had some kinda Sriracha hot sauce. I didn't bring any from my own collection with me as I wasn't even sure what there was going to be for breakfast.

It's always nice to get some dim for breakfast…

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Salty Egg Yolk Pumpkin ~ 5.8; Green Onion Pancake ~ 6.1; Vegetarian Rice Crepe Roll ~ 6.3; Egg Custard ~ 6.2

1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day, number one:

I only know about two words in Chinese, but I know that it is a tonal language and there are several words that are similar-enough sounding like the words for "Ma", "horse", and "morphine", which in Chinese are (in order): "妈" (pronounced something like "Ma"); "马" (pronounced something like "ma-a"); and "吗" (pronounced something like "ma"). So, it is easy enough to call someone's mother a horse-faced addict by mistake.

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-culinaristic pointer of the day, number two:

"Soy/soybean" comes from Dutch "soya", from Japanese "soyu", variant of "shoyu", from Chinese "shi-yu" (or "jiàngyóu"), from "shi" ("fermented soy beans") + "yu" ("oil").

Dante’s Weird Fish

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi che mangiate qui.[1]

http://weirdfishsf.com/


Place: Dante's Weird Fish
Location: 2193 Mission Street (at 18th Street)
Hours: open for "Brunch" Saturday and Sunday at 10:00am
Meal: Weird Classic ~ 2 eggs, (weird) spuds, (drop dead) biscuits & portabella pepper-gravy; and a cuppa coffee 

(There is no connection or relationship between today's breakfastary destination and today's EweToobular selection ~ well, none that I am aware of ~ I just like the song. That Cyndi Lauper lady singing back-up is pretty good and should have tried her own solo career.)


Per la prima colazione, sono andato a Dante's Weird Fish. They have been at this location for several years already (it says since 2006 on their web-site), but I first learned of them just a few weeks back when I was in the Mission (on another mission trying to locate a new shared-space coffee-and-waffles joint[2]) and happened to pass by the restaurant and liked what I saw on their menu. 

Dante's Weird Fish is basically a Pescatarian[3] (with some vegetarian and Vegan additions) restaurant. It is a pretty small space with seating for just twenty-two total. I was the only "weirdo" there this morning and had the entire place to myself the whole time I was eating. Other than that they call their early morning meal "Brunch" and that they don't open up until 10:00am on the weekends, I really like the place. They have these cool napkins on all the tables which are actually black and white handkerchief/bandana thingys.

Dante's Weird Fish doesn't have that extensive of a "Brunch" menu (about fourteen items), but most everything they offer is vegetarian-friendly and there are a few Vegan options, too. The menu is broken down into Our Fathers (egg dishes), Hail Marys (desayunos mexicanos), and Hellis Griddle (French toast and pancakes).

I had my two eggs over-medium. That is always pretty simple and hard to mess up. 

The weird potatoes were the real find here. These were Excellent! overall (if I were to rate them on their own, I'd probably have to give them a 7.5 GBS Rating) ~ made with both white (or maybe red) potatoes and sweet potatoes, and there was a ton of fresh, whole parsley cooked in with them (there was so much of it that I thought it might have been kale added in to the mix ~ which isn't that bad an idea ~ but the cute server-lady person checked for me and said it was just parsley). If they had whole cloves of roasted garlic in it, this would easily top even the Excellent! Roasted Home Potatoes at Eats. This is worth a return trip on its own merits.

The drop dead biscuits were good (but I actually survived); however, I thought they were a bit on the dry side. The portabella pepper-gravy really made up for it, though. That had a lot of flavour to it.

I am not sure if the coffee was "Vegan" or not. I asked the friendly server-lady what brand they used, but she didn't know. Sometimes the bags they buy the coffee in are just large and generic.

For condimentary supplements, Dante's Weird Fish offers a pretty varied selection: Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (the standard red); Tapatío®; Crystal® Louisiana's Pure Hot Sauce; and El Yucateco® ~ both Salsa Picante Roja de Chile Habanero and Salsa Picante Verde de Chile Habanero. I thought about using one of the bottles of El Yucateco®, but I went with some of my own Serious Food… Silly Prices Mango Hot Sauce (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the spuds, and just 4-5 drops (at this rate, I may not use this bottle up before President Obama is reelected in 2016) of Blair's After Death Sauce with Liquid Fire (Thanks a lot, Sean!) on the eggs only.

I know that I will be getting back to Dante's Weird Fish again one of these day in the very near future for lunch or dinner: Seitan Hell Boy (a Vegan Po'boy), anyone?!

One of the only things I didn't find out was why the place is called "Dante's" "Weird Fish"? Was Durante degli Alighieri the Jacques Cousteau of the Middle Ages?


Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Weird Classic ~ 7.0 (inclusively)


1. Stupid, useless cunning linguist/pseudo-literaturistic puntatore del giorno, numero uno:

Of course, this is just my satirical take on the original quote from Dante Alighieri's La divina commedia (Canto III, line 9): "Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate." ("Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.")

Dante's Weird Fish has this quote spelled as "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate." on their take-away menus. A quick Intro-Net search shows that alternate spelling in a few different places. I don't know if that is the spelling in Vecchio Italiano or not, but I am going with the correct spelling that I know of.

2. Linea Caffe and Lt. Waffle

http://www.lineacaffe.com/

http://www.ltwaffle.com/

For what it's worth, I didn't bother doing a 'blog-entry on this place as this was just a reconnaissance sortie to see if it would be worthwhile to go there for a breakfastary trip. The coffee was very good, and they do their own roasting; however, they only do espresso drinks and if you want just a plain ol' coffee, the closest you can get is an Americano. 

As far as waffles go, they offer three sweet waffles and three savoury waffles. I tried the egg souffle waffle (w/chevre and fine herbs); it was good, but not really worth going back and doing an entire 'blog-entry on. (Hence, this footnote note only.)

I parked right in front of the place this morning and noticed that they do a pretty decent business on Sunday mornings.

3. Stupid, useless cunning linguist puntatore del giorno, numero due:

"Pescatarian" is just a new term where the root of "pesco-"  is ultimately from Latin "piscis" ("fish"). However, the vowel "e" suggests that it has been taken from Italiano "pesce" ("fish"). 

(see: "Pisces" or "Pesci, Joe") 

La Cucina Restaurant

"Expect problems and eat them for breakfast."
~ Alfred A. Montapert

(No official web-site.)

phonicular contact: (415) 921-4500


Place: La Cucina Restaurant
Location: 2136 Union Street (between Fillmore & Webster Streets)
Hours: Saturday 7:30am - 4:00pm and Sunday 9:00am - 2:30pm
Meal: Spinach and Feta Cheese (3 Egg) Omelet ~ served with cottage fries (Mrs. Huneycutt, that would be just like homefries, but cut in smaller and more modest-sized pieces) and a choice of  white, whole wheat, sourdough, or rye toast (Substitution of potatoes for fresh seasonal fruit $1.00 ~ but who would ever do that voluntarily?); and a cuppa coffee

(To get this EweToob link connection you will actually need to read footnote number 1 for a change.)

Per la prima colazione, sono tornato a La Cucina Restaurant (see last 'blog-entry from June 9th, 2012). One of these days I need to get there a little later so that I can sit out on the backyard patio deck (where there is additional seating for 16-18 people); it never seems to be open very early in the morning. They also have six sidewalk tables for two people each (as can be seen in the above photo) that are available all day long weather permitting (or whether you are permitted).

One thing that was noticeable by its absence was the six-foot tall Italian chef sign out front that normally greets people. Dove è il mio Zio Luigi? I was told that he was in a storeroom in the back awaiting repairs to the blackboard that he holds (apparently, the weather wasn't so permitting to it after all these years), but I think Luis Prima has the real answer:

And as far as I can tell, this end of Union Street hasn't been infected by any stupid parklets yet.

La Cucina has a pretty substantial breakfast menu from which to choose. However, this early in the morning, the crepuscular[1] lighting sometimes makes it difficult to read the menu. I had the California Omelet on my last two visits (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me three times and I will kick you in the shins) so I wanted to try something different this time. I liked the sound of (well, I liked the reading of) the Marina Omelet ~ mushrooms, Jack cheese, and spinach. The Blintz Style French Toast ~ stuffed with cream cheese, topped with fresh seasonal fruit and powdered sugar ~ also sounded (readed) pretty good, too. I have a few options for next time now.

This was a veritable International Breakfast (διεθνές πρωινό, colazione internazionale, desayuno internacional) this morning: a Greek-style omelette (and by that I mean the ingredients ~ I don't even want to think of the options of the other meaning that some of you sickos are probably thinking about there) at un ristorante italiano, served and prepared by pueblo mexicano.

This had lots of fresh, sautéed spinach (σπανάκι, spinaci, espinacas) and plenty of Feta (φέτα, feta, feta) (both inside the omelette and on top of it). I can't stress enough how much fresh spinach is better in an omelette than the frozen junk. Usually if a meal says it has Feta in it, you are lucky to get a few crumbles of the cheese; this was easily a quarter pound (not exaggerating here) of the good, salty stuff.

I had gotten there early enough that I was one of the first people there in the morning and they weren't quite ready yet for customers. Consequently, the cottage fries were a little late and not ready with the rest of the meal, so they comped me a small bowl of fruit (which I wouldn't normally have ordered): bananas (μπανάνες, banane, plátanos), oranges (πορτοκάλια,  arance, naranjas), and watermelon (καρπούζι, anguria, sandía). At least I was assured that my potatoes were freshly-cooked; and I was happy to see that they were excellently crispy, too. I don't think they do their special weekend cheesy hashbrowns any more; I had them the first few times I went there, but haven't seen them since.

I went with sourdough as my toasty choice this morning.

La Cucina only has Tapatío® for their hot sauce condimentary supplementation. I used some of my own Hula Girl Chipotle Habanero (Thanks, Jim!) on the cottage fries (chipotle seems to pair very well with potatoes) and some Born to Hula presents Devon Alman's All Natural Hot Sauce Chipotle Blues (Thanks, Kerry!) on the omelette (heck, chipotle seems to pair very well with eggy dishes, too). Seeing as the Boston Red Sox clinched the 2013 World Series Championship earlier in the week, I didn't really need to use any more of my Big Papi En Fuego Hot Sauce Off The Wall Triple Hot (Sorry, Kerry!) today. I would just like to point out that I really don't think that the Red Sox would have won this year without the extra added mojo that I provided. This is not any superstitious mumbo-jumbo[2], it's a proven Scientific Fact. You are more than welcome, Red Sox Nation!

There were no problems necessarily ingested with breakfast, but, even if there had been, I am sure the chipotle salsas would have gone very well with them, too.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Spinach and Feta Cheese Omelet ~ 6.7; 2013 Boston Red Sox ~ 8.5

1. Stupid, useless entomological (because it really bugs me to have to explain the word origin) pointer of the day:

First off, I was "Triple-Dog-Dare"-d into trying to use the word "crepuscular" somewhere in today's 'blog-entry. It's not exactly a culinaristic term that is normally heard on the Food Network (that idiot Guy Fieri probably thinks it has something to do with really thin French pancakes).

Secondly, "crepuscular" doesn't have anything to do with blood cells. It just means "of, pertaining to, or resembling twilight; dim; indistinct". It comes from "crepuscule" + "-ar"; from Latin "crepusculum" (meaning "dusk", from "creper" ~ "dark").

(So, there, Little Miss Schwartz! And I didn't even put an eye out or need the assistance of the Hohman, Indiana Fire Department afterward.)

2. Stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day:

(Did you really think you could get away without at least one stupid, useless cunning linguist pointer of the day?)

Here's a little-known Cliff Clavin-esque fact*, the term "mumbo-jumbo" comes from an elephant (whose name was "Jumbo" and who was originally from the capital city of the Indian state of Maharashtra) that once preformed in Barnum & Bailey's Circus. Apparently this pachyderm was quite deft at memorizing cards and numbers, and the carnies would use him to trick unsuspecting rubes into playing simple card games against him where they were sure they could beat a "dumb circus animal". Of course, the stupid greenhorns were always quite amazed when they lost to the big mammal, seemingly as if by "magic". 

*(Again, just remember what my French model girlfriend always says, never believe anything you read on the Intro-Net. Especially here. 

Actually, the phrase probably originated from the Mandingo name Maamajomboo, or Mama Dyumbo, a masked dancer that took part in religious ceremonies. 

I have conferred with a few of my old fellow Air Force Linguists that specialized in the Mandinka language and they all concur with this word origin.**)

**(Okay, I made up that last sentence, too, but the other part is actually true.)