Sunday, June 7, 2015

Chloe♥s Cafe

"I can't stand an actor or actress who tells me acting is hard work. It's easy work. Anyone who says it isn't never had to stand on his feet all day dealing blackjack." 
~ Dino Paul Crocetti

(No official web-site.)

Place: Chloes Cafe
Location: 1399 Church Street (on the corner of 26th Street); phonicular contact: (415) 648-4116
Hours: open 8:00am every day of the week 
Meal: Special Scramble ~ 2 scrambled eggs w/ mushrooms, basil, sun-dried tomatoes, green onions, choice of cheese (Cheddar, Jarlsberg[1], cream cheese, Mozzarella, or Feta), served with a cup of fruit or homefries and toast; and a large glass of grapefruit juice

(Today happens to be Dean Martin's[2] birthday. I always liked "Ol' Bloodshot Eyes" singing better than "Ol' Blue Eyes"; however, Frank Sinatra was a much better serious actor ~ maybe he worked harder at it).

Continuing along with my redo's (redux's? reduxes? redi?), I went back to Chloes Cafe (see last 'blog-entry from May 26th, 2014) this morning for breakfast. Their menu states: "Serving Noe Valley since 1987", so they have been in business almost as long as I have lived in San Francisco. I have been going there for many years now (since at least the early 90's).

You really have to get there early just before they open to be in the first group of breakfasters. There are only eight tables for two and one table for four inside this tiny little joint. So, if my calculations are correct that is just about enough seating for only twenty people (okay, so I cheated and took off my shoes to get that correct count… just be glad the place doesn't seat twenty-one). They do also have sidewalk seating of two tables for two and four tables for four, but no one was brave enough to partake of the outside dining this morning as the Sun had yet to dare show its face through the thick misty fog.

The menu isn't much bigger and really only offers a few other choices from which stupid vegetarians can decide: Avocado and Jarlsberg Cheese Scrambled Eggs (I don't think that I have ever ordered that one before); Red Potato, Cheddar Cheese and Onion Scrambled Eggs (which I have ordered a few times in the past, but generally will just go with whatever their "Special Scramble" of the day/weekend might be); or Grilled Brie and Tomato on Croissant (with blue corn tortilla chips; which I have also had before, but would probably need to order a side of homefries).

I went with the choice of Feta cheese as I felt it would go best to go with all the other ingredients (Mozzarella would have done nicely, too). This was a very good combination of flavours: sundried tomatoes, basil, and Feta all work together nicely for me. Of course I went with the side choice of the homefries. I actually asked for their Potato Rosemary toast, but they brought out Whole Wheat Walnut by mistake, which is all fine as that is still a very good bread (plus, they gave me three halves of this toast… Did that mean that someone else got cheated out of a half-slice or was I supposed to have four halves?).

For condimentary supplements, Chloes Cafe has both Tabasco® Brand Pepper Sauce (Original Red Sauce) and Tapatío® Salsa Picante Hot Sauce. Knowing what they had to offer after many, many visits there over the past few (well, about three) decades, I always make sure to bring a few from my own collection. Today I used some (just a few drops sparingly, as this stuff is a tad on the hot side) 
Fat Cat® Chairman Meow's Revenge (Scorpion Pepper Sauce) (Thanks, Cindy & Greg!) on the scramble mess and some (this one I could go a bit more generously with, 'cause that is the generous kinda guy I am) Lucky Dog Hot Sauce Medium Fire-Roasted Pepper Sauce (Thanks, Brian!) all over the potatoes.

The good thing about this place is that they open early enough in the morning for my liking (and don't call their early morning meal "Brunch"), and if Dottie's True blue café[3] ever does close, Chloes Cafe can always be added back to my Breakfastary Starting Rotation.

Glen Bacon Scale Rating: Special Scramble ~ 6.9


1. I don't know how many times I have to state that Wild Bill Gates and his idiot Auto-spellcheckering Nazis really need to get out and eat more often. They don't recognize this typical Norwegian mild cow's-milk cheese. The alternatives they are offering are "Carlsberg" or "Arlberg". Perhaps they need to curtail their Walpoling activities and sally forth and infiltrate Ye Old Cheese Emporium to negotiate vending of some cheesy comestibles with the proprietor, Henry Wensleydale*. 

*(Hmmm?! It seems that Billy-boy and his Braunhemden spell-checkers also do not recognize this common North Yorkshire cheese varietal either. Perhaps they also need to watch more "Wallace & Gromit" animated movies.)


Dino always seemed a bit confused (or maybe just a bit blotto) with all these songs: "Everybody Loves Somebody", "You're Nobody till* Somebody Loves You", "Somewhere There's a Someone". So, which one was it?!

*(sic; yes, I know that really should be "until" or the abbreviated "'til", but I don't write these titles)

3. Did you ever wonder why the phrase is "true blue" or "true-blue"? Why not "true-red" or "true-orange" or "true-pomegranate-and-puce"?


  1. Hey there - I am the creator of Lucky Dog Hot Sauce, and this just showed up in my google alerts.

    Glad my Red Label helped to make your breakfast tastier - nice choice for the potatoes!

    Does the restaurant carry Lucky Dog, or did you bring that with you?

    Ps Love me some Fat Cat sauces! One of my favorite brands, and a heck of a nice company owner.

    1. Hey, Scott!

      Unfortunately, Chloe's doesn't carry any of your hot sauces. I am just the kind of idiot that likes to bring my own hot sauces with me as I know a lot of places only carry Tabasco®, Cholula®, etc®.

      I do like your hot sauces. I bought this one at Christmastime from the hot sauce store on Pier 39 (Hot Licks).

      I agree, Fat Cat makes some very nice hot sauces. I was given four of them as a gift and have liked them all.