Mel's Kitchen

If it's not THING 1, it's his mother...

https://melsdrive-in.com/vannessavenue


Place: Mel's Kitchen

Location: 1050 Van Ness Avenue
(on the corner of Geary Street)

Hours: (new hours for this location only) open at 7:00am every d*mn day of the d*mn week (well, I added the emphatic "d*mns" there for no d*mn reason)

Meal: Portobello & Brussel[ sic ] sprout Hash ~ served with two eggs any style (where I stylized these as over-mediums); and a glassa "fresh-squeezed" apple (How do ya like them "squeezed" apples, Mr. Hunting?!) juice to drink


This morning for breakfast, I went back to Mel's drive-in (see last 'blog-entry from Saturday, April 7th, 2018) for some good ol' 'merican dineresque fare. However, their location on Van Ness Avenue has undergone some major upscalery. They have nixed the "drive-in" moniker for the much more sophisticated "Kitchen" now. They re-opened as Mel's Kitchen just a little over a month ago and this was my first time getting back there. I ride past there almost every day on my way home from work and had noticed that they were closed for several months (apparently while remodeling to the max). Initially I thought that they probably had lost their lease and just closed that particular joint. 

To what (up)scale have they made changes? They now use cloth napkins on all of the tables! Talk about your "concentric layers of calcium carbonate produced within the soft tissue of a living shelled mollusk placed before domesticated large, even-toed ungulates"! They have even upscaled all the booths and diner-counter seats. Sadly, it looks like they have down-scaled the iconic 
50's jukebox, though, and it has been removed entirely (I made sure to look for it when I pretended to have to use the loo). 

Thankfully, they did not decide to up-label their early morning meal as "Brunch". Their new menu has also seen some changes, Alice, where they are offering such breakfastary items as:

Huevos Rancheros ~ two eggs, corn tortillas, Jack cheese, topped with green tomatillo sauce; 

Eggs Benedict (Saturday & Sundays[ sic; for some reason they felt the need to pluralize the first day of the week, but leave the Sabbath in its singularity ~ sounds kinda antisemitic to me ] only) ~ two poached eggs & ham (no, thanks!) on toasted brioche (which sounds like a nice alternative to Mr. Thomas' faux crumpet-things) topped with Hollandaise - hash browns;

or

Breakfast Burrito ~ scrambled eggs, Molinari chorizo (¡no, gracias!), Cheddar cheese, rolled in a flour tortilla, topped with ancho salsa and crème fraiche (now why they felt the need to correctly accent grave the "è", but leave the "î" un-circumflexed is beyond me; it may be another antisemite jab from that N*zi Herr Sharples).

I liked this dish a lot. It was pretty sublime (whereas, I normally prefer over-lemon) in its simplicity. It only included grilled Brussels (see, now is where these 
Jew-hatin' bastages shoulda added the superfluous "s" from "Sundays" above) sprouts and cubes of Portobello mushrooms. With its title of "Hash", 
I was actually expecting some sorta potatoes to be included in this dish. However, as we are all well-aware, a "salade de tomates" in France will generally include just a sliced tomato or deux. 

I particularly liked that the mushrooms were cubed in about quarter-inch bite-sizes. In my opinion (and I only listen to my opinion... well, sometimes), this is the perfect way to prepare these. It was almost like little vegetarian sausage bits. I bet even some fungo-phobes might try these and like them (probably not, though).

Even the side of toast was a bit upscaley, too. It was some kinda multi-grain rye, perhaps.

I did not bother to ask what they might have had to offer in the way of any hot sauce condimentary supplementation. Once again, I went with some of my own Punch Drunk™ Chocolate Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce (Thanks, Sean!) on top of one egg and some Great Wall Wasabi Hot Sauce (Thanks, Mom!) on top of the other egg.

I am pretty sure that Mel's new menu would probably have Florence Jean Castleberry exclaiming: 

"Kiss my polenta!"


Glen Bacon Scale Rating:
Portobello & Brussel[ sic ] sprout Hash ~ 6.5