Cafe Golo

"I'll have the attitude-free omelette and a cuppa de-churlish coffee, and a nice piece of that 'Gang Aft Agley' pastry, thanks!"

(No official website)

1602 Lombard Street (at Gough Street)

Phonicular contact: (415) 673-4656


(If you were wondering why the black-and-white photos again this morning, the truth is that I needed some new film for my digital camera and all they had at the store were black-and-white memory cards.)

(To get the obvious reference to this EweToob video, please read through my breakfastary rant to follow. If you hear about a recent vandalism at a small restaurant located on Bush Street, I swear it wasn't me that threw a can of black paint on someone's door.)

Isn't it nice when the back-up plan turns out to be much better than the original plan, Lenny? I ended up going back to Cafe Golo (see last 'blog-entry from July 29th, 2012) much sooner than I had expected. This is not because they aren't a great little restaurant, I just figured it would be longer than exactly one month to the day that I would return. As it was, I had planned on eating at the Red Door Cafe again, but circumstances beyond my control led me back to Cafe Golo, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, George.

Breakfastary/Exclusory Rant of the Day:

Only in San Francisco can you be kicked out of a restaurant ~ before even being allowed entry ~ by a blue-haired tranny with all the warmth and personality of Adolph Hitler[1] for having the nerve to want to eat breakfast by yourself or for not having the decency of eating with two more friends!

From my last visit to the Red Door Cafe (which, from here on out, shall be referred to as "that other place" or "that place which shall remain unnamed"; there is no reason to give them any more publicity than necessary and I won't even bother mentioning which last 'blog-entry it was), I knew that they are a very small place (with a total of fourteen seats only) and if you don't get there early enough you will have a long wait to get in. So I got there about twenty-five minutes before they open and figured that I was assured a place to sit with the first wave of diners as I was about tenth in line at that point. While waiting for them to open, I got to talking to the couple behind me in line and mentioned that they may want to try the French toast here as it was pretty good when I last had it. They were really excited about that, until…

The blue-haired tranny-Nazi, whom I can only assume is the owner/hostess, approached us and said that they have a list of "rules" posted at the doorway that must be adhered to if we wanted to eat there and that they don't allow parties of "three" people, it must be a complete table of "four" only. I told him that we weren't together and I was just a table of "one" and they were a table of "two".

*snap*

BHTN: "If you ask any questions, you won't be allowed in either!"

Me: "I ate here once before by myself. These two people aren't even with me."

BHTN: "Sorry. It's just not gonna happen!"

*snap*

(Okay. I am adding the "*snaps*"; he really didn't snap his fingers, but the attitude was there if not the actual motion.)

I was going to point out to him that fourteen isn't divisible by four, but really didn't see the point. Something tells me this guy really could care less about the mathematics (or economics) involved. I'd describe the guy as a "bitch", but the stupid bastard would probably take that as a compliment.

Rules for breakfast?! What rules do you need to know to enjoy breakfast (especially when you are a paying customer)?

1) Come hungry;

2) Be seated, eat, and enjoy; and

3) Bring your wallet.

That is all!

Perhaps the blue-haired tranny-Nazi overheard me lauding the Ultimate Pain Perdu at Baker Street Bistro (which is much better than the French toast they serve there, anyway) and was green (not red or blue, of course) with jealousy. I think I did finally talk the poor couple behind me in line into trying Baker Street Bistro instead. They were new San Francisco residents and actually live in Cow Hollow, closer to Baker Street Bistro and hadn't been there yet. Hopefully there is a new convert to the Ultimate Pain Perdu and one less "couple" to tell people to eat at "that other place".

What have we learned here today, students? Lonesome losers and any ménage à trois[2] need not apply.

Breakfastary rant over… for now.

Back to the good part of this 'blog-entry about Cafe Golo, this is a 'blog about breakfasts after all (and sooner or later someone would have to allow me entry and feed me). I was left in a quandary as to where to go for breakfast, as I was planning on going to "that place which shall remain unnamed" and couldn't think of any places that were in this general vicinity. Then I remembered about Cafe Golo being on the corner of Gough and Lombard, which was only about a dozen blocks away if you head straight down Franklin. Hooray for Cafe Golo!

As I stated during my last visit, Cafe Golo is managed/owned by a really nice lady (who is neither a tranny, nor has blue-hair, mind you) named P.B. In my last 'blog-entry I had made a silly joke about her partner being named "Jay". I found out this morning that the joke is really on me. The co-owner/head baker is actually named Jay (John for long). So they really are "P.B. & Jay". All in all, a very cute name for a couple of nice people (and not in the least bit rude). I also found out today that Cafe Golo has a small backyard (outdoor) patio that has six additional tables for seating between 2-4 persons per table. So, I guess they would have no problem with parties of fourteen or more (or parties of two or less).

One of the best parts of Cafe Golo is that they have their own bakery and produce some great pastries for breakfast. For starters this morning I had a Kiwi-Cranberry Tart. I also took home a piece of Blackberry-Mango pastry and a piece of Sweet Potato Tart to enjoy later today.

(Maybe I really need to rethink this whole black-and-white photography thing. The cranberries and kiwis actually looked a lot better in full colour.)

They have a very good breakfast menu from which to choose, too. I really liked the Potato Scramble I had last month. Today I tried Golo Omelet ~ Eggs (naturally), Cheddar or Pepper Jack cheese, peppers, onions, and tomatoes; served with potatoes and toast. I also had a cuppa mighty fine coffee.

There was really nothing extra special about the omelette; it was just very good and large and extra fluffy (a trick I will never master). It was stuffed full of all fresh ingredients, too. As with their excellent Potato Scrambles, their home fried potatoes are made with both regular potatoes and sweet potatoes, which is nice. They actually forgot to bring me my toast, but even if they had forgotten my omelette this morning, I am sure I would have enjoyed this meal much more than any at "that other place" (okay, I promise no more breakfastary rants… maybe); plus, with the tasty pastry starter, I really didn't need any more carbohydrate intake today.

For condimentary supplements Cafe Golo offers a pretty decent selection of hot sauces: Crystal®, Tapatío®, and a few others. But I had brought a few of my own and used a little Serious Food… Silly Prices Sweet Heat on the potatoes and a little Serious Food… Silly Prices Chunky Habanero on the omelette (Thanks for both, Cindy!). Jay said he would like to try them, but they were too busy (but not too busy to actually seat and serve a solitary soul, I am happy to say) and he never got around to sampling them; I'll be sure to let him taste some the next time I go there, and believe you-me, there will be many more trips to come. Thanks P.B. and Jay!

I was also very pleased to find out that both P.B. and Jay are more than happy to answer any stupid questions that you may have without any recriminations. (Okay, I swear, that is the last of my breakfastary rants this morning.)

Good food and great pastries! And most importantly of all, it's always nice to get seated and be able to eat when you are a paying customer, Han! (Seriously, that ends all the breakfastary rants as this is the end of the 'blog-entry.)


Glen Bacon Scale Rating:  Golo Omelet ~ 6.7; Kiwi-Cranberry Tart ~ 7.0; Pleasant service without any unreasonably untoward attitude ~ 8.5


[1] Actually, I think Adolph once tried eating there and was rebuffed because he tried to eat there with just Goebbels and Göring, unfortunately Himmler couldn't make it, and they were forced to go elsewhere for breakfast. I think this was the main reason why Hitler invaded Poland.
 
Did I just go there? You're damn "straight" I did, bitch!
 
*snap*
 
[2] Stupid, useless (but not necessarily codicillary) cunning linguist pointer du jour:
 
"Ménage à trois" in French literally means "household of three". Just don't let Jack Tripper in on that simplified phrase.